Research Every Drug You Take: Yes, Even Your Blood Pressure Medication

Subtitle: Your nerve-pain meds may be making you hard to live with, and you may not even be realizing it

[Epistemic Status: A much needed sanity waterline-raising correction]

TL;DR: I strongly recommend you thoroughly research every chemical you put into your body.


Introduction

I’ve come across a lot of people who are unaware of the fact that the drugs they’re being prescribed are psychoactive, dependence-causing, or even cognitively dulling. This includes prescription medications, over-the-counter drugs, and supplements.

A friend was prescribed a beta blocker for blood pressure (extended release propranolol[1], iirc). He had no idea drugs in this class were, for better or worse, effectively “downers”. And even though he swears he didn’t feel anything from it, knowing him well it was obvious to me and others that it clearly had an effect on him. He would slouch more, had a noticeable change in his posture, was less pressurized in his speech, and was a bit less cognitively sharp. He isn’t someone I would describe as having particularly good introspection skills or somatic awareness (neither a meditator, nor a psychonaut… just a rationalist). But I was still surprised to find out he hadn’t researched his prescription, nor ever noticed its broad effects on him.

Gabapentin and Propranolol

The same pattern appears everywhere. Someone I know was prescribed gabapentin for nerve pain. Over the course of 6 months, she started to look visibly restless – a common effect from the “interdose withdrawal” of such drugs. She would take it at night; by afternoon you could tell she wouldn’t sit still, and had a lower threshold for anger and irritation. Her nerve pain hasn’t improved, making this prescription a possible net-negative. Hopefully discontinuation will be gradual and mild in rebound anxiety, which isn’t guaranteed (cf. gabapentin withdrawal support groups).

The Anticholinergic Trap

Here’s one that catches people completely off-guard: anticholinergics. These are sold over-the-counter for wildly different purposes – sleep aids, anti-nausea medication, allergy relief, motion sickness. The active ingredient is often the same compound: diphenhydramine (Benadryl’s active ingredient) or similar anticholinergics.

“I take this for allergies, this as a sleep-aid, this one for motion sickness, this one for my cold… and now I’m seeing the fucking Hat Man

I’ve heard from multiple people working in ERs about elderly patients coming in delirious, only to discover they’d been taking diphenhydramine from three different sources simultaneously – a sleep aid, an anti-nausea medication, and an allergy medication – with no idea they were stacking the same drug. Anticholinergics are particularly problematic long-term: they’re associated with cognitive decline and increased dementia risk in older adults. So, if you don’t want to see the fucking Benadryl Hat Man, be sure to research your meds.

The Benadryl Hat Man is waiting for you if you don’t thoroughly research your meds

Other Common Oversights

Melatonin is sold as a gentle sleep aid, and most people take it without a second thought. The long-term effects? Potential suppression of endogenous production, hormonal effects (it is a hormone, after all), possible effects on reproductive function, and for some people, increased anxiety or depression with chronic use. (Breaking news: “melatonin might increase risk of heart failure”).

DXM (dextromethorphan) is in a lot of OTC cough syrups and pills. It’s a dissociative – the same class as ketamine and PCP – and at even slightly elevated doses produces mild dissociative effects. People sometimes notice they feel “weird” or “spacey” when taking cough medicine but don’t connect it to the mechanism of action. (Note: at high doses, and in combination with THC, it may even catalyze free-wheeling hallucinations). (Note 2: research suggests low-dose DXM is a potential neuroprotective agent). (Note 3: DXM is also a mild anti-tolerance drug).

L-tyrosine, sold as a nootropic supplement, is a dopamine precursor. It can absolutely affect mood, motivation, and anxiety – and can interact poorly with various medications or conditions. I personally use it on occasion (perhaps twice a month, 500mg in the morning) as a gentle pick-me up. But people take it daily, as prescribed, without ever realizing it might be the thing keeping them up at night (paradoxically, it has a non-zero benefit for people with restless legs syndrome).

Even acetaminophen (aka. Paracetamol, Tylenol) – perhaps the most “innocuous-seeming drug” in your medicine cabinet – has psychological effects beyond pain relief. Recent research suggests it blunts emotional processing and reduces both positive and negative affect. People taking it regularly for chronic pain may find themselves feeling emotionally flatter, less empathetic, or having a harder time connecting with others. It’s subtle enough that you’d never attribute it to your pain reliever, but meaningful enough that it affects your quality of life and relationships.

Trazodone, clonidine, and in exceptionally reckless prescribing circumstances, even alprazolam, are often handed out with minimal discussion of long-term dependence, withdrawal profiles, or cognitive effects. The conversation is often “take this for sleep” or “take this for anxiety” without the adult-to-adult discussion of what you’re actually signing up for.

Why this happens

Doctors often don’t mention these effects because (a) they have 15 minutes with you, (b) they’re focused on the primary indication and assume secondary effects are less relevant, (c) they lack the phenomenological vocabulary to describe subjective experiences, or (d) they genuinely don’t know – medical education emphasizes mechanism and primary effects, not the phenomenal character of a given drug.

This is a systemic issue rather than a personal failing. But it does means the burden falls on you.

What to actually do

Never assume your nerve pain drug or your blood pressure medication is “just for the body”. More often than not, it has real (if often mild) emotional and cognitive effects. It’s all one system, after all. Mind and body.

When researching a drug:

  • Check PubMed for the academic literature on side effects and long-term outcomes
  • Check patient forums (Reddit, patient advocacy sites) for the (even if mild) subjective effects they induce – what it actually feels like to be on this drug and to get off of it
  • Look up the mechanism of action and think through what that implies for other systems
  • Ask ChatGPT or Claude: “What are the cognitive, emotional, and subjective effects of [drug name]? Include both common side effects and rarer phenomenological reports. What should I know about long-term use and dependence?”
  • Ask your doctor directly about cognitive, emotional, and dependence effects (but don’t assume they actually know much about it)
  • Consider whether the tradeoff is worth it for you specifically, given your particular circumstances
  • Read high-quality “subtle drug” literature like The Good Drug Guide, by David Pearce

Sometimes the tradeoff is genuinely worth. Beta blockers might save your life. Gabapentin might be the only thing standing between someone and unbearable pain. I would never say that the goal is to reject pharmacology, but I do want to strongly nudge people dear to me to think of what they put in their body through the lens of informed consent.

You better know the real long-term valence effects of what you’re taking, lest you find yourself plagued by anger, anxiety, depression, or mental viscosity whose source you can’t identify.

Metta!


1 For a less centrally-active beta blocker, see: atenolol. H/T Maija Haavisto for the tip.

QRI Research Revealed: From Theory to Consciousness Engineering (2026 Fundraiser)

(link)

https://qri.org/donate

The Qualia Research Institute is fundraising $1.5M to carry out its 2026 research program. This is the video of our fundraiser presentation delivered on November 20th 2025 at the 16th floor of San Francisco’s Frontier Tower. We make the case that for cutting-edge consciousness research and suffering reduction initiatives, QRI is a top organization in terms of cost-effectiveness.

In this video, Cube Flipper presents on QRI’s think tank approach to psychedelic research over the past few years, including our work on modeling phenomenology using principles from non-linear optics and the launching of heart.qri.org. Andrés Gómez Emilsson then covers QRI’s current most promising research paradigms, recent empirical findings on characterizing dynamic system changes from pharmacological agents, and the vision for the organization’s strategic plan through 2026.

Endorsements of QRI

Scott Alexander: “I do think QRI is amazing. I’m proud to be here. If you’re going to understand consciousness, you need a very rare combination: being brilliant, erudite, focused — and extremely crazy. QRI sits exactly in that sweet spot. And if anyone is going to do it, they are.”

Shamil Chandaria: “QRI is a creative and first principles consciousness research group. Their original and pioneering approach is opening new territory in the field and is exactly the kind of fresh and insightful research that is needed. I always feel inspired by their ideas and have an intuition it will be these bold ideas that will help to make genuine progress in understanding the nature of consciousness.”

Daniel Ingram: “I flew in basically just to be here. I had this feeling that there was something really important with you all gathering — with this energy — for this incredible work, this foundational, fundamental work that QRI is doing. What absolutely blows my mind is how cleanly mathematics — topology, Fourier transforms, linear algebra, frequencies, phase — maps onto deep meditative and psychedelic experience. I’ve been dreaming of this for decades. To see this actually being done, to see real mathematical formalization applied to consciousness, is a dream come true for me. I really think this is how you reach the mainstream. The mainstream will appreciate this — even if it takes time — and it has to understand this if this work is going to scale. So please support QRI. Please support this work that they are doing.”

Christine Peterson: “It’s been my privilege to watch the Qualia Research Institute from very early on, and I’ve been astounded by the level of creativity in this research program. There is nobody else out there doing this kind of work, and it’s hard to imagine something more important. This is how we are going to learn to quantify consciousness, valence, emotional states — how to eliminate truly intense pain, and how to explore the highest levels of human happiness. What’s extraordinary is that QRI is doing this with a tiny team and an extraordinarily small budget. When you see the quality of this research and hear what the budget is, you honestly wonder how it’s even possible. This organization deserves at least a million dollars a year. They know how to squeeze every penny and generate enormous value. This is the great adventure — and this is the moment to step up.”

Chris Percy: “In the academic world I usually work in, people are lucky to have one or two big ideas a year. Andrés has one or two big ideas every month — and QRI now has an enormous backlog of ideas waiting to be developed.”

Matthew Baggott: “I’ve been interested in and working on psychedelics since the 1980s. When I was an undergrad, I didn’t understand why no one was studying these experiences seriously. What always struck me is that we need people who can do careful self-experimentation, observe very precisely, and then make formal models of what’s going on. That is the way forward. A lot of breakthroughs in science and medicine have come from self-experimentation — it’s overrepresented among Nobel Prize winners. So it’s been an honor and a pleasure to see the work at QRI develop over the months and years. Please give them all the support you can. It’s going to make a difference.”

Balázs Szigeti: “The way I came into psychedelics was through a project called the self-blinding microdose study. It was a citizen-science project, and the results showed that microdosing is not better than placebo. That made me extremely unpopular in psychedelic research. But the moral of the story — and how it relates to QRI — is that the self-blinding microdose study started as this weird, funky citizen-science initiative. It was outside of the system, but it tried to say something about what the system really cares about. And I see QRI as something similar: this weird, eclectic, outside-the-system thing. I’m not sure where it’s going, but it’s going somewhere — and I think it’s going to be awesome. What they are doing is really, really unique, and it is just the way forward for this field.”


What’s happening at QRI: We’re moving our theoretical work (Coupling Kernels, Neural Field Annealing, Valence Structuralism) into practical applications: consciousness engineering, incubating startups, and working on alignment problems. This video shows data-driven empirical validation of the Coupling Kernel paradigm with solid preliminary results. Expect QRI in 2026 to deliver peer reviewed papers validating core research threads and concrete technologies that ease pain, enhance baseline wellbeing, and facilitate access to therapeutic extremes of positive valence. Ideas that were on Qualia Computing back in 2016 are now appearing in philosophy-of-mind journals and making waves. This is just the beginning! 🙂


Video Timestamps:

  • 0:01 – Introduction & Christine Peterson
  • 5:08 – Scott Alexander
  • 6:34 – Matthew Baggott.
  • 8:32 – Cube Flipper
  • 1:08:52 – Daniel Ingram
  • 1:14:09 – Balázs Szigeti
  • 1:16:10 – Chris Percy
  • 1:30:22 – Andrés Gómez Emilsson
  • 3:00:11 – Q&A Session
  • 3:13:29 – Community Introductions

About QRI

QRI is a nonprofit think tank and R&D lab studying consciousness. We run retreats studying high-energy states (https://heart.qri.org) where we rapidly prototype experiments and tools. Our approach incorporates physics, phenomenology, philosophy of mind, and psychophysics.

Careers: https://qri.org/careers

HEART: https://heart.qri.org/get-involved

Oscilleditor: https://qri.org/oscilleditor

ClusterFree (Alfredo Parra) – Advocating for DMT as cluster headache treatment: https://clusterfree.org (see: 12+ Reasons to Donate to ClusterFree)

Computational Functionalism Debate (Chris Percy) – Digital sentience debate quiz: https://cf-debate.com/quiz/

Thank you to Taru Hirvonen, Till Holzapfel, Scry and Symmetric Vision for their work on prototypes of our Tactile Visualizer, and to Emil Hall, Taru Hirvonen, and Symmetric Vision for their development efforts on Oscilleditor.

https://QRI.orgDiscord

Blogs: https://qualiacomputing.com/ | https://smoothbrains.net/

X: @QualiaRI | @algekalipso | @cube_flipper | @qualiacomputer | @chris_percy | @alfredoparrah | @ClusterFree_

Substack: substack.com/@andrsgmezemilsson

12+ Reasons to Donate to ClusterFree

Why cluster headache mitigation should become your #1 effective giving priority this Season: impactful, novel, very alive, and with plausible fast results!

By Andrés Gómez Emilsson, ClusterFree Co-Founder & Member of Advisory Board

TL;DR: To motivate action and feel genuine internal alignment around a decision, sometimes we need to see it from many different angles. Even when a single reason should be enough, we need to motivate our entire internal coalition of subagents! Hence, all of these reasons to support ClusterFree in its mission:

Summary of the 12+ Reasons to Support This Cause

  1. Watch real people rapidly improveVideo testimonials of torture stopping in minutes
  2. Logarithmic scale of impact – Helping someone with this condition is potentially one of the highest-leverage interventions anyone can do as a gift to someone’s life
  3. Insurance against illegible suffering – Building a world that takes invisible pain seriously, including your own in the future! (crossing fingers you never experience such things!)
  4. Proof-of-concept for valence-first cost-effectiveness – This illustrates the corner cases where QALYs/DALYs fail catastrophically
  5. Intellectual coalition – Scott Alexander, Peter Singer, Anders Sandberg, Robin Carhart-Harris, etc. have seen the evidence and are convinced this is real
  6. Schelling point for suffering reduction – Network effects for future high-impact work, attracting genuine talent to focus on deep suffering reduction is its own value proposition
  7. It’s a strike against medical paternalism – Informed consent for known therapies, even when not officially approved, when it comes to extreme suffering, should always be an option on the table
  8. Actually tractable – Success looks like a 3-5 year timeline with a clear theory of change
  9. Speed cashes out in suffering prevented – 70,000 people in extreme agony right now, every day of delay matters greatly
  10. Works as an accelerant for an existing movement – Adding coordination to grassroots momentum that’s already underway (giving the psychedelic renaissance wings!)
  11. Psychospiritual merit (if you believe in “karma”) – Buddhist texts specifically highlight headache relief, “immeasurable merit” in store for you and your loved ones if you decide to help with clean intentions
  12. Bodhisattva vision – Practice looking into darkness without flinching
  13. Bonus – I’ll stop talking about Cluster Headaches in Qualia Computing!: Fund it so I can get back to core QRI research

Introduction: Why Multiple Reasons Actually Matter

In principle, deciding where to donate should be straightforward: calculate expected value, fund the highest-impact opportunity, done. In practice, we’re coalitions of subagents with different reward architectures, time horizons, epistemics, and thresholds for action.

At a neurobiological level, motivation doesn’t work the way we pretend. It’s not about “willpower” or “being convinced by good arguments.” Different brain regions make “bids” to the basal ganglia, using dopamine as the currency. Whichever region makes the highest bid gets to determine the next action. Scott Alexander explains this in Toward A Bayesian Theory Of Willpower (2021). What we call “motivation”, within this framework, is just whichever subsystem’s bid is currently winning. Whether the details are right or not, I think this tracks how I see people behave.

If you want to trigger high-effort action, giving just one reason may not be enough. That only raises one bid. Layer multiple kinds of reasons (emotional, moral, social, self-interest, narrative, identity-based), and you multiply the bidders in your internal parliament. Scott uses stimulants as an example: they “increase dopamine in the frontal cortex… This makes… conscious processes telling you to (e.g.) do your homework… artificially… more convincing… so you do your homework.”

Look, I’m being straightforwardly manipulative here. Giving you twelve reasons instead of one is designed to activate more of your subagents. But it’s prosocially manipulative – to help you integrate a truth you might already intellectually accept but haven’t acted upon yet. The bullet point approach can be misused when it obfuscates (think laundry list of complaints when there’s really just one big issue), so let me be meta-transparent: I genuinely believe ClusterFree is extremely high-impact, and I’m deliberately structuring this to get past your action threshold. If any one or even several of these reasons feel less convincing to you, ignore them. The robust core case stands on its own.

There’s also the threshold problem. In Guyenet On Motivation (2018), Scott discusses how higher dopamine makes the brain more likely to initiate any behavior. When dopamine is low, even strong reasons may not overcome inertia. Increased dopamine “makes the basal ganglia more sensitive to incoming bids, lowering the threshold for activating movements.” Sometimes what’s needed isn’t better arguments but enough energetic activation to allow any reason at all to push action over the threshold. Which is why you should read this while high on LSD and/or Adderall fully rested and energized.

Naturally, this connects to annealing. At QRI, we think of belief updating as requiring an energetic process. It’s not enough to know something matters; you need metabolic resources to actually integrate that knowledge and reconfigure your behavior accordingly. The REBUS (RElaxed Beliefs Under pSychedelics) framework applies here: people intellectually understand that cluster headaches are astronomically bad, that preventing them is extraordinarily high-leverage, and that this is one of the most intense forms of suffering you can and should urgently address. Yet this knowledge may remain compartmentalized and inert, unable to meaningfully shape action, resembling other “ongoing moral catastrophes” by which future generations may judge our society.

What breaks through? Multiple simultaneous channels of evidence that together cross energy thresholds. Emotional resonance. Social proof. Narrative coherence. Personal connection. These aren’t redundant: they join together as a gestalt that pushes forward the energetic budget needed for actual system-wide updating.

So here are the twelve reasons to support ClusterFree. Not because you need all twelve to “get it” intellectually, but because different reasons will activate different coalitions in your brain.

And if you’re not in a position to donate but still want to help – please keep reading. There are many high-impact ways to contribute at the end!


1. You Can Actually See People Rapidly Improving

Most charity is abstract. You send money into a statistical void and trust the meta-analyses.

With ClusterFree, you can watch video testimonials of actual people describing how psilocybin or DMT stopped “the worst pain imaginable” in minutes. The person who was screaming, punching walls, and contemplating suicide is suddenly calm, coherent, and alive again.

Watching someone’s face change like that hits you differently than reading a cost-effectiveness analysis. Your brain gets direct evidence of the state change. You see the suffering stop.

And strategically, patient testimonials are how this actually works. Raw video testimonials of “this stopped my torture” create demand that no institutional gatekeeping can fully suppress. People are already using this in advocacy. We’re just collecting the stories systematically and making them impossible to ignore. One major medical center sees enough of these, runs a supervised protocol, publishes clean results, and every other institution’s liability calculation flips.


2. On the Logarithmic Scale of Helping Another Human, This Is Unfathomably High

Preventing cluster headaches for life is plausibly one of the single largest “good deeds” a human can do for another human being. Yes, this is grandiose. But if something big IS true and you know it, pretending it’s not to avoid looking grandiose is fake humility that damages the cause.

Cluster headaches are called “suicide headaches” because the pain is so extreme that people actively contemplate ending their lives during attacks. Patients report “drilling through my eye socket,” “being stabbed in the brain,” “pain so bad I can’t think, can’t speak, can’t do anything but scream.”

Here’s a rough intuitive sketch of what the logarithmic scale of helping another person might look like (this isn’t rigorous math – it’s an illustration of what’s likely the case, directionally right[1]):

  • 10^0: holding a door open
  • 10^1: gifting a pen
  • 10^2: introducing them to someone useful
  • 10^3: helping them move places
  • 10^4: catching a major work or family mistake before it ruins their week
  • 10^5: teaching them a compounding skill (meditation, programming, emotional regulation)
  • 10^6: funding their higher education, changing their entire socioeconomic trajectory
  • 10^7: helping them escape a pathological family system
  • 10^8: preventing them from falling into a cult, deep addiction, or abusive relationship
  • 10^9: curing a chronic condition like treatment-resistant generalized anxiety disorder (GAD)
  • 10^10: saving their life while preserving psychological integrity
  • 10^11: giving them a permanent upward shift in baseline wellbeing and quality of consciousness, such as advanced contemplative practice can do over the course of decades
  • 10^12: preventing cluster headaches for life

Why 10^12? A single cluster headache attack is plausibly in the 10^9 to 10^11 range of negative valence – orders of magnitude worse than migraine, worse than childbirth, worse than even torture. A typical patient experiences thousands of these across their lifetime. The multiplication is straightforward.

We’ve done empirical work quantifying cluster headache intensity using patient self-reports, cross-condition comparisons, suicide attempt rates, and other methods. Full details in our EA Forum posts (Quantifying the Global Burden of Extreme Pain from Cluster Headaches, Logarithmic Scales of Pleasure and Pain) and our Nature: HSSC paper.

The theory of change for the open letters on ClusterFree is straightforward:

Patient testimonials – Raw evidence that DMT/psilocybin (even at subhallucinogenic doses) works for a large fraction of sufferers, spreading organically through desperate communities. This is already happening underground.

Reputation-Amplified Legitimization – Get enough credible voices (clinicians, researchers, policy experts) publicly acknowledging both the crisis and the evidence. We already have 800+ signatures, many from extremely prestigious people. This shifts what’s discussable. Journalists cover it differently. Clinicians stop whispering with fear of judgment and start preparing, even if quietly at first (I’m already seeing signs of this in some groups).

Clinical cascade – One major medical center runs a supervised protocol, publishes clean results, and every other institution’s liability math inverts. You don’t need consensus. You need one proof point, and the dominoes fall.


3. It’s Insurance Against Your Own Extreme Suffering Being Dismissed

Cluster headaches are invisible. No blood, no broken bones, nothing on medical imaging. Just someone screaming, rocking, punching walls while doctors tell them to “try reducing stress”, “have you considered yoga?”, or “maybe try an Ibuprofen?”.

This is what illegible suffering looks like. People don’t believe you. Institutions can’t help you. You’re trapped in a cage of agony that no one else can see.

Supporting work on illegible suffering means supporting the principle that intense subjective experience matters even when it can’t be measured easily. By supporting ClusterFree, you’re building the world where, if you ever wind up in incomprehensible pain (chronic illness, treatment-resistant conditions, novel syndromes medicine doesn’t understand yet, a hard-to-communicate and hard-to-alleviate pocket of deep biopsychosocial suffering), people will actually take it seriously. Where “I am in agony, and this helps” is treated as highly important data, the existence is safer and more dignified.

Medical, institutional, and social gatekeeping kills people. It traps them in years of unnecessary suffering because the safe and affordable tools that work aren’t “approved” yet. By supporting the patient-driven, evidence-based access to what actually helps, you’re contributing to practical moral betterment and making the world safer for everyone who might need it. Including you.


4. It’s a Proof-of-Concept for Valence-First Cost-Effectiveness

Most effective altruism uses QALYs (Quality-Adjusted Life Years) or DALYs (Disability-Adjusted Life Years) to evaluate interventions. These metrics have a major limitation: they systematically underweight extreme suffering. A QALY-based analysis of cluster headaches captures some utility loss but misses orders of magnitude of suffering because attacks are brief and non-lethal – even though they’re torture-level and recurring. The frequency distribution is also extremely skewed (some sufferers have 10+ attacks daily), which standard health economics frameworks struggle to properly account for.

ClusterFree evaluates interventions based on how bad things actually feel and what their actual prevalence is – not through the lens of reduced life expectancy or economic burden: “How much suffering are we preventing when measured by its actual intensity?”.

We’ve quantified cluster headache intensity and prevalence using patient self-reports, cross-condition comparisons, suicide attempt rates, and other complementary empirical methods. The result is clear: cluster headaches score astronomically high. This is why preventing them matters so much more than conventional metrics would suggest.

If you want a future where we optimize for the real reduction of suffering instead of metrics that structurally and systematically ignore its most intense forms, ClusterFree is the seed. We’re showing how you can make rigorous, evidence-based decisions by taking the actual experience seriously. This serves as a template for charity evaluation and ethical triage (not necessarily to replace current Effective Altruism methods, but to add a _critical_ missing evaluation angle to the ensemble model for how to help most effectively). 


5. You’ll Be in the Company of Intellectual Giants

Scott Alexander supports this. Anders Sandberg supports this. Peter Singer supports this. These are thought leaders with decades of track records in rigorous, scout-mindset thinking about doing good. They don’t endorse lightly. They’ve looked at the testimonials, the statistics and trends, the theory of change, and said: this is real.

If you trust their epistemics even a little, their endorsement is strong Bayesian evidence. These aren’t people chasing trends or optimizing for social approval.

And beyond the rationalist/EA sphere? Robin Carhart-Harris supports this – one of the leading psychedelic neuroscientists in the world. Shamil Chandaria supports this – doing serious work on meditation, predictive processing, and contemplative neuroscience. Christopher H. Gottschalk supports this – a neurologist who actually treats cluster headache patients and knows firsthand how devastating they are.

EA thinkers, psychedelic researchers, clinical neurologists, contemplative scientists – they’re all saying the same thing. That doesn’t happen often.

You get to join this coalition early. While it’s still underrecognized. While it requires actually engaging with the arguments instead of following the consensus. While supporting it means skin in the game.

Supporting ClusterFree now signals good taste (you can spot high-impact opportunities before they’re obvious), high reasoning capacity (you can evaluate complex arguments across disciplines), genuine compassion (you care about actual suffering, not just legible causes), and epistemic independence (you can disagree with the consensus when the evidence demands it).

When this becomes mainstream (and it will), you were there first.


6. It’s Creating a Schelling Point for Serious Suffering-Reduction Work

ClusterFree is reducing the coordination costs and bringing together people who can spot neglected pools of immense value early on.

Researchers who care about phenomenological intensity. Clinicians frustrated with institutional gatekeeping who want evidence-based psychedelic medicine. Policymakers who understand regulatory strategy. Patients with direct experience who want to help others. All working on the same thing with a clear theory of change.

Many causes tend to be either too vague (“reduce suffering”) or too narrow (“fund this one study”). ClusterFree hits the sweet spot – it is specific enough to be actionable, broad enough to matter at scale, and legible enough to attract serious supporters.

The network effects compound. When the next high-leverage suffering reduction project comes along, there’s already a group of competent people who know how to execute. The people showing up now will co-build what comes next. Rather than funding one project, you’re seeding a network that keeps generating high-impact work.


7. It’s a Strike Against Paternalistic Control Over Suffering Relief

Right now, people with cluster headaches are told they cannot officially access psilocybin or DMT – the interventions that consistently, rapidly, and reliably work for a large fraction of sufferers – because the institutions have decided they’re not allowed to make that informed choice. Even when they’re screaming in agony. Even when they’re suicidal. Even when nothing else helps.

Medical paternalism is at its most cruel when patients hear: “We know you’re suffering, but you can’t have the effective, affordable, and safe-to-manage thing that stops your agony, because we haven’t finished the proper studies yet, and/or because of the system’s inertia.” Never mind that converging evidence shows it works. Never mind that patients are already using it skilfully and reporting dramatic relief. Never mind that the risk profile is more than worth it given the suffering prevented.

ClusterFree, with your support, is building the legal, scientific, and social infrastructure to challenge that amoral status quo. We pave the way for informed consent, supervised access, and letting people make rational decisions about their own unbearable pain.

If you value bodily autonomy, participatory medicine, and the right to pursue relief from extreme suffering, this is the fight. And it’s winnable thanks to multiple predictors of success. 


8. This Is Actually Tractable

Most extreme suffering feels impossibly hard to address. Oftentimes, contemplating extreme suffering causes a sense of helplessness. It’s too big, too entrenched, and too complex. You can care deeply and still feel like there is nothing you can meaningfully do about it.

Cluster headaches are different. We have video testimonials. We have 800+ signatures from people with institutional power. We have a clear mechanism – psilocybin/DMT abort attacks rapidly and safely. We have willing clinicians ready to run supervised protocols. We have patient demand already creating the underground adoption.

The main barrier is coordination and legitimacy-building. That’s where ClusterFree steps in: we close the gap between common knowledge and the rollout of systemic solutions. 

And we’re going beyond mere advocacy. Bob Wold of ClusterBusters calls DMT a “breakthrough therapy” for its near-instant pain relief; we’re working to understand why it works, so we can foster next best steps. Our research includes exploring legal, non-hallucinogenic (or only mildly hallucinogenic) alternatives like 5-MeO-DALT, which one patient discovered in Shulgin’s TIHKAL and used to successfully treat 46 cluster headache patients. Developing targeted therapies based on understanding the mechanisms and testing new approaches translates into accessibility and effectiveness.

We (admittedly optimistically) believe this is doable within 3 to 5 years of focused and effective execution: build the coalition, get one major medical center to publish clean results, and watch the common knowledge cascade. Meanwhile, we’re already developing better treatments with maximally broad legal adoption.

Most things that matter this much take decades… or never even happen. This one is actually within reach.


9. Every Month of Delay Means Unnecessary Pits of Suffering

Right now, while you’re reading this, ~70,000 people are experiencing a cluster headache attack. More will start in the next few minutes. And more after that, like a global wave of agonizing pain.

Roughly 3 million people worldwide have cluster headaches in any given year. Many experience attacks daily or multiple times per week during the cluster periods. We estimate that globally, cluster headache patients spend approximately 70,670 person-years per year in pain, with about 8,570 person-years (about 3.1 million person-days) spent at extreme pain levels (≥9/10).

The math is brutal: with every month of delay, patients undergo millions of preventable torture-level attacks. While other cause areas and interventions may warrant dilemmas of donating now or later, the case of ClusterFree is urgently clear – donate now, and we will do our best at bringing unimaginable counterfactual relief to millions in 2026-2027. 

Our model is designed for speed – we are not waiting for perfect RCTs, commercial products, or stable institutional consensus. We are building the strategic legitimacy cascade that lets institutions act on what we already know.

The suffering is happening right now. The effective solution exists right now. We know how to connect the dots, and the only question is how fast we can do so.


10. ClusterFree Is Accelerating an Already Developing Movement

ClusterBusters has been doing heroic work for years, building community, sharing information, and giving people hope. The psychedelic renaissance has been shifting cultural and scientific attitudes. Various researchers and advocates have been pushing this forward through different channels.

ClusterFree adds a specific piece: demonstrating that this is a winnable fight right now.

We bring:

  • An explicit theory of change (testimonials lead to reputation-amplified legitimization, which leads to clinical cascade);
  • 800+ signatures from outstanding individuals, many with institutional power and cultural influence;
  • A straightforward narrative: “this is effective, safe, and urgent, and we can scale this legally” – and we’re not afraid to signal DMT as especially promising (due to its extremely fast pain relief profile when “vaped” at the onset of an attack);
  • Coordination infrastructure that connects patients, clinicians, researchers, and funders around a shared goal; and
  • A global but local-context-sensitive approach in both coverage and mindset: while ClusterBusters focuses on the U.S. and UK, we’re building parallel advocacy tracks across multiple jurisdictions (Canada, Europe, Latin America, etc.) to build the missing capacity.

This strategy acts synergistically with other approaches, de-risking them rather than obstructing them. When a major medical center decides to run a supervised protocol, they will do it in an environment where 800+ credible voices (as of December 13th 2025) have already confirmed that this is real, this matters, and the research must take place as soon as possible.

Our strategy is being developed and executed by uniquely talented individuals with a strong track record. Alfredo Parra leads the organization – he is exceptional at navigating the interface between institutions, has 7+ years of nonprofit management experience, and is provingly extremely conscientious and high-integrity (don’t take my word for it – look at all the work). The team and the community that seeded it concentrate people who simultaneously understand the importance of suffering reduction, psychedelic phenomenology, regulatory strategy, and movement building. They both care about the deep structure of consciousness and aren’t swayed by common narratives. This is a rare comparative advantage, and in our view, proves an excellent fit to push this cause forward.

The fruitful work has been happening already. Where we step in is providing leverage at a specific bottleneck: making the path to legitimacy visible and coordinated.


11. If You Take “Karma” Seriously, Look at What the Texts Say About Headache Relief

In the Bodhicaryāvatāra, Śāntideva teaches that “immeasurable merit” arises even from the simple thought: “Let me dispel the headaches of beings.” The tradition treats this literally. Not metaphorically. Relieving sharp, overwhelming pain generates outsized karmic effects because it interrupts some of the most intense forms of duḥkha in the human realm.

Why headaches specifically? Because they were considered the archetype of piercing, mind-breaking pain in the classical world. Cluster headaches exceed even that ancient benchmark. They represent some of the most unbearable moments a human mind can experience.

The logic of meritorious karmic logic is clear: if intention aligned with the relief of severe suffering produces merit that scales with the intensity of dukkha relieved, then work that prevents torture-level pain for thousands of people is not ordinary charity but a high-density, boutique, ultra-rare karmic investment.

For practitioners of the Bodhisattva path, karma constitutes a feedback loop shaping future clarity, opportunity, and awakening. Helping beings escape states of extreme pain is singled out across the Mahāyāna as one of the fastest ways to accumulate merit and purify obscurations.

If even contemplating the wish to relieve a single headache creates immeasurable merit, then actively supporting work that may end this class of suffering at scale plants karmic seeds that ripple across lifetimes.

Even if you hold a weak, naturalized version of karma (something like “intentions to help tend to produce good outcomes proportional to the good intended”), the efficiency here is absurdly high. Instead of helping someone have a slightly better day, you’re preventing thousands of hours of above-torture-level pain per person.

And what if you don’t believe in karma at all? The consequentialist case is still clear. You’re preventing, say, ~10^12 units of negative valence per person.


12. You Get the Bodhisattva-Tier Vision

Most people, when they look into the true darkness of suffering (the worst pain imaginable, sustained for hours, recurring for decades), recoil. They look away. They rationalize (“someone else will handle it”), they cope (“well, suffering is just part of life”), and freeze (“I can’t do anything about this anyway”).

Such reactions are understandable given the limits of our agency and the scope of the challenge. Luckily, there’s another response possible and available today:

You see it, and you roll up your sleeves. Where others flinch or cope, you take intentional action.

That capacity to clearly perceive the worst of what’s real and respond with competence, care, direction, and focus – rather than despair, avoidance, denial, or freezing – is a rare gem. It separates people who talk about compassion from people who enact it. The “Bodhisattva move” is: “I see the suffering. I will not turn away. I will do what needs to be done.”

Supporting ClusterFree strengthens that moral muscle. It’s a practice for the kind of person you may want to be: someone who can look into the darkest abyss and respond with pragmatism, not platitudes.


And a bonus reason for Qualia Computing readers…

So I Can Stop Talking About Cluster Headaches in Qualia Computing

Look, I very deeply care about this work, and this is why ClusterFree needs to claim its own space. QRI has a complementary mission to fulfill – studying and utilizing coupling kernels, topological approaches to the boundary problem, neural annealing frameworks, and the deep structure of valence.

The more ClusterFree is funded and self-sufficient, the more I can get back to the core theoretical work for which I’m best suited. Which, by the way, is exactly how we identify the next high-leverage suffering reduction opportunities!.

If you want me to shut up about cluster headaches and get back to talking for hours about beam-splitter holography and DMT phenomenology, the fastest way to make that happen is to generously fund ClusterFree.

You’re welcome.


What We’re Specifically Asking For

ClusterFree is currently a two-person operation: Alfredo leading the day-to-day execution (coalition building, clinical coordination, policy navigation, the 800+ signature campaign), and me providing strategic direction, research frameworks, writeups like this one, and QRI infrastructure. The initial donations will let us hire additional top talent to manage critical workstreams, so that we can:

  • Pursue parallel regulatory tracks in different jurisdictions;
  • Optimize our media presence by talking to journalists, podcasters, and medical journals;
  • Build global partnerships with patient organizations, headache centers, psychedelic advocacy groups, and retreat centers that treat this and related conditions;
  • Coordinate with medical centers willing to run supervised trials;
  • Create high-quality topical resources for patients in multiple languages, which are scarce and difficult to find; and
  • Pursue other high-impact value streams we’re ready to launch with additional capacity.

If significant funding is obtained, it will allow us to personally visit retreat centers and bring people with cluster headaches to suitable settings where they can experiment with these therapies, and where we can study them thanks to the QRI approaches to systematic phenomenology mapping, including EEG and biorhythms monitoring. This might turn out to be really important, possibly allowing us to determine what aspect of psilocybin/DMT relieves the pain. Our working assumption, based on many interviews with sufferers, is that DMT’s “body vibration” effect is key for its pain relief – if true, this is something we could significantly optimize by developing more targeted therapies.

While our network of volunteers is growing (see Slack below), having dedicated paid staff accelerates our efforts dramatically. The faster we move, the louder we say “no” to overlooked suffering.


Can’t Donate But Want to Help?

There are many high-impact ways to contribute beyond financial support:

  • Sign the open letter – Adding your name increases our legitimacy and helps shift the Overton window.
  • Share patient testimonials – If you have cluster headaches and have used psychedelics, your story can help build the evidence base. We believe that video testimonials from sufferers, in particular, are especially powerful. Recordings showing the moment itself where psilocybin/DMT relieves the suffering in real time might have the most emotional resonance overall.
  • Join our Slack – We list simple but high-impact volunteer tasks (translations, social media, research assistance, essay feedback, etc).
  • Connect us with key people – Do you know journalists, podcasters, clinicians, policy makers, or potential donors? Introductions are greatly appreciated!
  • Spread the word – Share this essay, talk about cluster headaches with the right mood, and become the relieving change you want to see and experience in the world.

Conclusion

With all these reasons in mind, ClusterFree satisfies the utilitarian, the virtue ethicist, the long-term strategist, the person who wants meaning, the person who values courage, the person who wants to accumulate spiritual merit, the person who wants to bring these therapies to the FDA approval status, the person who just wants to see real humans stop screaming in pain, and the one who embodies all these motivations simultaneously.

Donate to ClusterFree

Donate to QRI (the incubator organization that made this possible, and conducts more aligned efforts)

Sign the open letter

Our internal coalitions can agree that this matters, and we can actually do it. Thank you.


Acknowledgments: Many thanks to Marcin Kowrygo for his generous edits of the draft. Thanks to Chris Percy, Roberto Goizueta, Hunter Meyer, and, of course, Alfredo Parra for relevant discussions and suggestions for this write-up. Huge thanks to the ClustersBusters team for their incredible and ethically urgent work (and generosity with their time to help people in need, as well as accepting being interviewed in a pinch at Psychedelic Science 2025). Thanks to Jonathan Leighton (OPIS) for inspiration, aligned work, and fighting the good fight! Thanks to Jessica Khurana (and her team) for founding Eleusina Retreat – the world’s only retreat center focused on using psychedelics, legally, for treating extreme pain conditions. Thanks to Maggie Wassinge for her copious emotional support, love, and motivation to keep doing the real work, even when it feels hopeless at times (seriously, THANK YOU). And to the spirit of Anders Amelin (RIP), who is always with us, encouraging and motivating, giving us strength and intelligence. May he rest in peace, knowing we’re pursuing our ambitious suffering-reducing goals <3 And thanks to the entire QRI team, as well as the broader qualia community at large, for creating a container where these ideas can be freely explored with curiosity and without stigma. And finally, thanks to all of the donors of QRI and ClusterFree: we will do what we can to make you proud of supporting us. Metta!


[1] On the 10^12 estimate: This is admittedly a back-of-the-envelope calculation, but here’s the reasoning. A cluster headache patient might experience anywhere from 3,000 attacks (conservative, successful treatment) to 30,000+ attacks (severe chronic cases) over their lifetime. Using a conservative estimate of 3,000 attacks averaging ~60 minutes (3,600 seconds) each gives us ~10^7 seconds of extreme pain. Now for the intensity ladder. Holding a door open might prevent ~0.1 units of discomfort, using a pinprick as 1 unit. Kidney stones, already rated 10/10 on standard pain scales, are plausibly ~1,000× more intense than a pinprick (10^3). Each second of cluster headache pain appears to be ~10× worse than kidney stones (10^4 relative to our baseline). Multiply by 10^7 seconds, and we get 10^11 from pure hedonic intensity alone. Additionally, cluster headaches impose a constant inter-ictal burden (meaning, the suffering between attacks), including PTSD, anticipatory anxiety, and a profound sense of doom between attacks (see interview with Cluster Busters founders at 53:10-53:40). This could add a 2-5X multiplier, bringing us to ~10^12. For severe cases with 10× more attacks, the calculation easily reaches 10^13 or higher. The true value likely ranges between 10^7 (very mild cases with effective treatment) and 10^16 (severe chronic cases accounting for peak intensities and suffering between attacks). Even at the conservative end, preventing cluster headaches for life remains one of the highest-impact interventions accessible to individuals. Similar back-of-the-envelope calculations can be done to put in perspective each of the steps on the “logarithmic scale of help you can provide to someone”.


Scott Alexander in “Links For December 2024” (Dec 24 2025):

13: Alfredo Parra of Qualia Research Institute on cluster headaches. Cluster headaches are plausibly the most painful medical condition. If you ask a cluster patient to rate their pain, they’ll almost always say 10/10. Does that mean the headaches are twice as painful as a 5/10 condition? There are some philosophical reasons to expect pain to be logarithmic, so plausibly cluster headaches could be orders of magnitude more painful than the average condition. Once you internalize that possibility, it throws a wrench into normal QALY ratings and suggests that, even though cluster headaches are pretty rare, they might cause a substantial portion of the global burden of disease (or even a substantial portion of the suffering in the world). Some psychedelics, especially psilocybin and DMT, seem to treat cluster headaches very effectively, so the more you believe this reanalysis, the more interested you should be in figuring out how to turn these into an accessible therapy (see clusterbusters for more information on this aspect).

And more recently in “Open Thread 409” (Nov 24 2025):

2: Qualia Research Institute announces their spinoff effort ClusterFree. Cluster headaches (aka “suicide headaches”) are probably the most painful medical condition known to science, which makes them a natural priority for some utilitarians. They seem to be extremely treatable by psychedelics like psilocybin and DMT (including sub-hallucinogenic doses), so ClusterFree is working on getting governments to research this further and maybe get these drugs into the medical pipeline (cf. ketamine for depression). There’s an open letter here, and you can contact them here. The information for patients is at the bottom of this page.

Peter Singer in his recent piece “The Best Treatment for the Most Painful Medical Condition Is Illegal” (Dec 11 2025)

A recent article in Nature: Humanities and Social Science Communications found the funding provided in the United Kingdom for research on cluster headaches to be “orders of magnitude” less than that provided for multiple sclerosis, a condition that affects a similar number of people. The authors conclude that, given that we regard the provision of anesthesia for surgery to be essential, we should also recognize relief for extreme pain as essential. Finding ways to do so should warrant the highest funding priority.

A new initiative called Clusterfree has launched global open letters calling on governments to provide legal access to psychedelics for people with cluster headache. I have signed, and I hope that you will, too.

Announcing ClusterFree: A cluster headache advocacy and research initiative (and how you can help)

[xposted in EA Forum]

Today we’re announcing a new cluster headache advocacy and research initiative: ClusterFree

Learn more about how you (and anyone) can help.

Our mission

ClusterFree’s mission is to help cluster headache patients globally access safe, effective pain relief treatments as soon as possible through advocacy and research.

Cluster headache (also known as ‘suicide headache’) is considered the most painful condition known to mankind. We believe it is one of the largest sources of preventable extreme suffering in humans today. Every year, about 3 million adults (and an unknown number of minors) suffer from this debilitating condition.

And yet, even in the EU, only 47% of the cluster headache population had unrestricted access to standard treatments (primarily oxygen and triptans) in 2019. Despite affecting a similar number of people as multiple sclerosis, global investment into cluster headache is minuscule.

At the same time, countless patients have reported previously unattainable relief using certain psychedelics, even at low doses. For example, psilocybin, LSD and 5-MeO-DALT can effectively prevent attacks, and N,N-DMT can abort attacks within seconds and also have some preventative effects. However, these life-saving treatments are inaccessible to the vast majority of patients.

We want to tackle these problems by:

  • Publishing open letters demanding that governments, regulatory bodies, and medical associations worldwide take action immediately, with a focus on easing restrictions around psychedelic use.
  • Providing patient groups with high-quality resources and supporting their advocacy efforts.
  • Engaging with policymakers globally to advocate for better access to treatments.
  • Publishing research on cluster headache and supporting other researchers in the field.
  • Collaborating with entrepreneurs and philanthropists motivated to bring new, effective treatments to market.

About us

ClusterFree is a non-profit initiative incubated by the Qualia Research Institute.[1] It is led by Alfredo Parra, with Andrés Gómez Emilsson (President, QRI) as co-founder. Bob Wold (Director, Clusterbusters) and Jonathan Leighton (Executive Director, OPIS) are members of our Advisory Board.

We will be collaborating closely with Clusterbusters, the largest and most well-known cluster headache advocacy organization, led and run by patients. For about 25 years, they have been at the forefront of cluster headache advocacy, especially in the US and the UK. We are excited to bring more capacity and new approaches to tackle other jurisdictions, and to show that patients are not alone in this fight.

How you (and anyone) can help

As our first project, we are publishing one global open letter and 11 country-specific open letters:[2]

Anyone can sign the global open letter. Additionally, if you live in or come from one of the countries above, you can sign that letter as well. Signatories include Prof. Peter Singer, Scott Alexander, Dr. Christopher Gottschalk (Yale), David Pearce, and Dr. Daniel Ingram.

Please share the letters widely within your network![3]

If your organization wants to show its support for ClusterFree’s mission, we can list it as a partner on our website.

A few other ways to help include:

  • Donating or putting us in touch with potential donors. Donations are tax deductible in the US.
  • Volunteering for various tasks (many of which are very simple but high-impact).
  • Connecting us with journalists, podcasters, or influencers.
  • Offering any pro-bono services that could help the cause.
  • Giving us feedback on the website.
  • For patients: Sharing your testimonial (which we can feature here).

You can get in touch any time.

Room for funding

We have been making good progress on a shoestring budget during the past few months. Among others, we:

  • Started an official collaboration with Clusterbusters.
  • Gained the support of a member of a US state legislature.
  • Started conversations with CH advocates in multiple countries (most recently India[4], Denmark, and New Zealand).
  • Are engaging with entrepreneurs and philanthropists interested in bringing DMT to market.
  • Developed a preliminary idea for a new, legal abortive treatment that could be highly effective (potentially also for migraines).
  • Have started developing phenomenology-based, patient-centric surveys to test various hypothesis for the underlying mechanism of action that psychedelics exert on this condition.

We recently raised seed funding from a private donor to cover our core operations for the coming months. Additional funding would allow us to hire a second teammate to work alongside Alfredo at this early stage, particularly on outreach and communications. We could absorb an additional $50k–$150k immediately.

At this very early stage, we are still evaluating different paths to impact, and will likely test various strategies simultaneously to identify the most promising opportunities.

We believe ClusterFree is a great donation opportunity for people who care about relieving the most intense human suffering today. Cluster headaches represent a major health crisis even in developing countries, and we are far from having effective treatments widely available. Help us change that.

Donate

Additionally, you can consider donating to Clusterbusters or OPIS, who have been at the forefront of cluster headache advocacy and research for years.

Work with us

If you’d like to help us reduce the global burden of cluster headache pain (beyond volunteering), we’d love to hear from you. Simply fill out our expression of interest form.

Further information


  1. We are considering incorporating a charity in the UK. In the meantime, ClusterFree is fiscally sponsored by QRI.
  2. We are very grateful to the various volunteers from the EA community who contributed to the translations.
  3. Asking people individually to sign the letters works much better than asking in groups.
  4. Many thanks to Jacob Woessner’s volunteering work on this front.
  5. Website and brand design by Lombaert Studio.

[Many thanks to Alfredo Parra for this writuep]

In-Flight Entertainment: Metta, SU(3), Flat Earth

[Epistemic Status: playful, informal travel log]

How I spent the 11 hour flight from London to San Francisco just now (apparently flying over Iceland and Greenland, if the map on the little screen in front of me was to be believed):

In essence, three interconnected things:

  1. Metta meditation (“unconditional love for all beings”),
  2. SU(3), and
  3. Flat Earth

First of all, doing metta on a flight is always a good idea. Radiating lovingkindness from the sky is beautiful (whether we live in a Flat Earth or Round Earth, metta still radiates spherically at the speed of light). By doing metta on a flight you get to “touch” a lot more beings (or more of “being”, from a non-dual point of view) through the sheer diversity of physical proximity you get to experience (did I mention we flew over Iceland?).

But I’ve done metta on flights in the past. What was special this time around?

I watched a lecture on “The Strong Nuclear Force as a Gauge Theory” (go Richard Behiel!) that left me thinking about how to modify Kuramoto systems to incorporate QCD features.

In practice, thinking about this, combined with the metta, meant I was essentially playing around with heart shapes in my mind & energy body for 8 of those hours.

Imagining a big heart at the center of reality. Imagining a small heart at the center of reality. Filling it with metta. Imagining a big metta-filled heart rotating clockwise. Imagining a big metta-filled heart rotating counter-clockwise. Getting smaller and larger.

And then in 3D… a heart that grows and rotates and shrinks and changes orientation, and reflects itself (and sometimes looks like the Endless Knot when it does so from a certain angle).

Now imagine a field of hearts. Each point has a 3D heart. It’s ok if it’s a symbol. Eventually it should be abstract: just the qualia of love. But for now, imagining a heart is helpful. Each point has a heart that can rotate, reflect, grow, and even “invert” itself.

Let the hearts touch each other.

By which I mean, let their phase angles become entangled with their neighbors. Create a gigantic field of hearts spinning however they want… so long as unitary and Hermitian. For the SU(3) part. We want strong hearts (by which I mean, capable of emulating the Strong Force).

I was a bit sleep deprived and overclocked (fun fact: when they ask you: “coffee or tea?” you can say “both, please!” and you’ll get two cups, one of each – must clarify: do not make a mixture of the two, or the math will get messed up), so things were a bit conceptually fuzzy and not quite coherent enough to my sober taste. But it was good qualia engineering in line with a Glass Bead Game aesthetic.

I kept thinking: Every rotation is a sequence of shears. A well-coordinated rotation feels good. Poorly done, and you get uneven sheers. Shearing is potentially scary. So shear carefully. That’s why emergent geometric transformation from the superposition of harmonic amplitudes (think degenerate eigenmodes used as a basis for rotation) is of hedonic significance. Only when you coordinate well can you avoid unnecessary shears and jump straight to a proper rotation. If asymmetrically “shearing the fabric of reality” is to be “unkind” to it, SU(3) is the way by which metta is baked in at the base level of phenomenal space.

How does Flat Earth come into play? I started the flight with the question: “how would a von Neumann type justify belief in Flat Earth?” (how I got to that question… I can’t quite remember, and it was probably a followup to a politically incorrect question I won’t touch in public anyway). And I got all kinds of beautiful recreational metaphysics confabulations during the flight. Things involving Donald Hoffman’s take on the nature of reality mixed with abstract cuts of other people’s in-flight movie-watching entertainment experiences (binging classics like Zoolander and Addams Family Values is a perfectly valid, alternative, way to spend your 11 hours, which is what my neighbors cheerfully chose to do instead of messing with SU(3)-rotating imaginary hearts). The main thing being: we could potentially come up with a model of reality that accommodates a truly Flat Earth if we take into account the multiple timelines of the multiverse as part of the geometric metric of intersubjective spacetime itself – only on a “given history of the universe” the world appears round, but that’s only something that happens to be the case from a specific subjective point of view that “glues together” enough perspectives that are consistent-enough to cause a kind of “narrative closure” on the sense of reality. Gravity and the center of mass is emergent from the many frames of reference / points of view that are integrated into a stream of consciousness. But in reality, at the base, the geometry is perfectly flat and Euclidean, like a Lattice QCD (ok, taking a poetic license here, bear with me).

The Flatness of the Field of Hearts seems to be indeed something that gives it high valence. Implementing lawful energy-preserving (for a certain notion of energy) transformations on a field of metta was especially delightful. The more detailed the imagination of this phenomenon, the stronger the seeming neural field annealing that would result of it.

I’ll leave you with a quick vibe-coded reconstruction of this in-flight meditation entertainment experience. No drugs involved (except for a coffee+tea mixture), just strong meditation and imagination.

Enjoy, and please keep sending metta while flying <3

DMT for Cluster Headaches: Aborting and Preventing Extreme Pain with Tryptamines and Other Methods

“If we lived in a really sane society with a strong compassionate streak, every building would have something like a ‘Break in case of fire’ box… only this one would read ‘Break in case of cluster headache.’ Inside you’d find a pre‑charged DMT vape pen. That would be really nice.”

Announcement: Do you have experience using psychedelics to treat cluster headaches? Want to support science and advocacy in this area? Submit your personal and/or professional testimonial to our upcoming “ClusterFree” Open Letter initiative.


Sitting Down with Cluster Busters at Psychedelic Science 2025

One of the highlight moments for me at Psychedelic Science 2025 in Denver this June was conducting an interview for Bob Wold, founder of Cluster Busters, and Joe Stone, and Joe McKay who work alongside Bob in patient support and advocacy.  Our conversation covered a lot of ground, but I had one key strategic goal in mind: document, in their own words, why the humble DMT vape pen looks like a once‑in‑a‑generation breakthrough for the most painful condition that medicine has ever encountered.

“With a regular vape pen it’s usually one inhalation. Thirty seconds later the pain is gone. I hear a click in the middle of my brain and the attack is just off.” —Bob Wold

Their story plugs directly into QRI’s ongoing attempt to map the upper reaches of experience (QRI has the long-standing mission of mapping the state-space of consciousness, reverse engineer valence, and reduce suffering at scale). Our logarithmic scales of pleasure and pain shows that as one climbs up the pain (or pleasure) scales, phenomenal intensity rises far higher than common sense anticipates. The Heavy‑Tailed Valence hypothesis extends that insight to society at large and seeks to question the validity of current econometric approaches to collective wellbeing (cf. QALYs) in light of the fact that the extremes are not properly represented. From where we stand, it seems that a handful of wildly intense states do most of the moral damage (or good). Cluster headaches live in that fat tail, which is precisely why a 30‑second fix like DMT matters so much; perhaps as big of a collective hedonic breakthrough as, say, the discovery of anesthesia (in aggregate).

Put bluntly, if we care about total suffering, we need to care about cluster headaches. The time is now.


Interview Highlights Pertaining to DMT

  • DMT as an acute rescue
    One lungful (where the instructions typically say “three full breaths”) ends most attacks in under a minute. A second puff a minute later covers nearly all the rest. No tolerance shows up (acutely or chronically) which allows patients to repeat the dose whenever necessary.
  • Low psychedelic burden
    The dose is about a quarter of a psychedelic hit; enough to see some color enhancement but not enough for significant “trippiness”. Patients describe “a mild two‑beer buzz” or “the room takes on a golden tint” or “faint auras appear.” The mild level of psychedelia needed for this treatment makes bedside use practical, even for parents who need to stay functional the day after.
  • Why it beats psilocybin and LSD in the heat of battle
    Psilocybin and LSD still shine for cycle prevention, taken every five days, but they work on a timescale that makes them impractical for acute events. DMT is for the here‑and‑now (note Eleusinia founder says DMT also interrupt cycles according to her work at the retreat center). Joe Stone calls it “a game changer” because he can abort a 2AM ethical emergency (a cluster) and fall back asleep within 10 minutes. No need to have an expensive psychotherapy, a professional sitter, or trip killers on hand, let alone having to book a whole day to trip.
  • A hunch about endogenous DMT
    Bob’s shares his intuitive working model for how cluster headaches work (to be refuted or confirmed by science): an attack begins when natural DMT in the brain dips below a threshold (why do we even have DMT in our brains to begin with?). He hazards the guess that a quick DMT top‑up pulls the breaks and re‑establishes homeostasis. Others suggest that melatonin abnormalities in cluster patients add plausibility to his view, given the biochemical link between melatonin and endogenous tryptamine synthesis.
  • Pain drives the psychiatric condition, not the other way around
    One key insight I wanted to make sure to get on the record: chronic physical agony breeds depression, anxiety, and PTSD‑like flashbacks. Fix the pain and the mental distress often dissolves; no need for heroic doses or eight‑hour therapy sessions (as with e.g. psilocybin for depression specifically). Cultural over-emphasis on mental health as _the_ thing to treat with psychedelics might make sense from the point of view of a slowly expanding Overton Window; but the big hedonic payouts (freedom from hellish states of consciousness) are likely concentrated in their application to the reduction of extreme physical pain (see also).

Why This Matters

Alfredo Parra’s quantitative analysis suggests that cluster headaches may contribute more net misery than migraines, cancer pain, or even major depressive disorder once intensity is included (and a proper long-tail model and Monte Carlo simulations are taken into accont). Effective Altruist “pleasure-bean‑counters” (I say this affectionately!) please take note: extremely nasty but “rare” states can dominate the integral, and need urgent consideration.

From a consciousness‑research angle, the interview is another data point for why direct phenomenological investigation should guide ethics; here, patients, confronted with the reality of their own phenomenology, themselves have again clearly pioneered the treatment all the while mainstream research (unsurprisingly) slept through five decades of drug war.

Closing Thoughts

Imagine a fire‑alarm box on every hospital wall that reads “Break glass in case of cluster headache.” Inside we find a sober-looking, very boring but perfectly functional, pre‑filled DMT cartridge that delivers reliable 3mg hits (enough to feel a light buzz, not enough to trip significantly – certainly far short of any dose needed for entity contact or alien abduction experiences). This isn’t science fiction; it is what the data we’re seeing support.  Freedom from one of the most extreme demonic forces on Earth is, counterintuitively… Spice. Let’s shorten the path from patient innovation to standard‑of‑care and, in the process, erase one of the darkest corners of conscious experience forever. I believe we can achieve a Cluster-Free World within a few years if we put our minds and hearts to the task.

Hallucinations are not a problem at the doses we have people use and that seem to work the best, which are much smaller than a recreational dose. We aren’t recommending people take doses that will have them playing cards with a deer (you can’t trust them!). The doses are small (e.g. 1.5g of mushrooms). You’re supposed to get to about the “giggle”. Get to the “giggle point” and you’re good to go.Suicide or Psychedelics, Bob Wold at Horizons 2009


Resources and Further Reading:

How You Can Contribute:

  • Donate to Cluster Busters
  • Donate to QRI (earmark for “Cluster Headache Research and Advocacy”)
  • Donate to OPIS (Organization for the Prevention of Intense Suffering)
  • Share your testimonial if you’ve experienced relief through psychedelic therapy: Submit Here

Stay tuned for QRI’s upcoming Open Letter advocating for psychedelic access in treating severe pain conditions, the ClusterFree worldwide initiative.

The Voice in Your Head: Don’t Mind the Inner Monologue

People complain about the “voice in their heads.” Often, advanced meditators say they’ve lost it, and their life is better for it. But more recent research shows a large percentage of the population doesn’t have it anyway (a case where natural variance combined with the typical mind fallacy makes things extra confusing).

But you know what? I think this is a massive red herring. As per usual, the problem with X (having a voice in your head in this case) was never X directly, but… you can guess what I’m about to say: the effect X has on valence. Don’t overindex on X. X IS INCIDENTAL. What matters is that X MAKES YOU FEEL BAD.

Rob Burbea distinguishes between discernment and judgement. Discernment tells you what is helpful. Judgement is an evaluation of the self/other, which relies on false metaphysical assumptions to stand on.

The problem with having a voice in your head is that it is a judgmental voice – it creates a self-view. In particular, it causes moral and social judgments on a fabricated sense of “self and other.” Judgment feels bad; it adds weight to experience. Even judging something as good feels subtly bad in the background, because it entails some level of inner tension and segmentation where you represent a part of you as bad to generate the contrast necessary to highlight the good.

Judgment is self-perpetuating. It stings. It costs energy. And it builds on top of itself. When you’re too far gone in a judgment spiral, you judge yourself for being judgmental.

Burbea calls judgment “the thief of happiness” and explains how it strangles creativity: how many poems die in the waste-basket because “I’m useless” barged in? He also reminds us that sometimes simple mindfulness isn’t enough; you have to challenge the habit by feeling its sting in the body and meeting that pain with kindness.

Things like hangovers and bad psychedelic trips are often bad because of the persistent tracer effect on judgment. A panic attack often involves a kind of judgment tinnitus. Without judgment and its symmetry-breaking effects in the field of awareness, a “voice in your head” would not be a problem. Bring it on! I’m OK having a zany, Bugs Bunny-like commentator on my experience, so long as it doesn’t jitter my attention without consent or cast judgment on my everyday activities or social cognition. It could very well be amusing: might as well have an entire cast of whacky characters putting on a schizophrenic show for me to enjoy. The problem is not the voices, but the bitterness and disenchantment they entail.

Rob, in his lecture on letting go of judgment, explains that not judging is a real, achievable way of life. Freedom from judgment is within grasp for all of us (assuming we put in the time and effort – though please don’t take this as a judgment on your temporal thriftiness or laziness!). Burbea affirms it’s “absolutely possible” for the habit of judgment to end – sometimes large chunks of the “mountain of judgment” crumble suddenly in a matter of weeks. Even when judgment thoughts continue to arise from habit, they arise “completely free of any charge… just like empty words” with no power behind them. Eventually, these empty judgments fade away because they’ve been “sucked dry” of meaning.

This effort, I believe, is far more targeted and beneficial for liberation than the poor proxy of “removing the voice in your head, which already ~50% (?) of people don’t have anyway.” Freedom from judgment and its associated sense of presence, direct experience, thinning of self, and homeostatic regulation is the real prize. Not mental silence.


Presidential Inaugural Address of Andrés Gómez Emilsson

[Epistemic Status: fiction (in most timelines, that is); in my lane, having fun]

Place: The Equatorial Republic (pop. ~190M)

Time: 2032

My fellow citizens of this great Equatorial Republic,

Today, as I stand before you having accepted the solemn responsibility of the presidency, I am humbled by your trust and energized by the possibilities that lie before us. This administration marks not just a change in leadership, but a fundamental paradigm shift in how we approach governance, human welfare, and our collective future.

A New Era of Compassion Through Science

On this first day in office, I am announcing the formation of the National Hedonic Research Initiative. Let me be clear: extreme suffering can be worse than death itself. Nowhere is this more evident than in the case of cluster headaches—aptly named “suicide headaches” by medical professionals, a condition where the pain is rated significantly more severe than childbirth, kidney stones, or even gunshot wounds.

Through Executive Order 001, I am establishing the Cluster Headache Elimination Commission with an initial $2 billion in funding. The data is clear: approximately 3 million people worldwide suffer from this condition, spending nearly 5 million person-days annually in extreme suffering rated 9/10 or higher on pain scales. This Commission will:

  1. Create a nationwide tryptamine research and distribution network, prioritizing low-dose N,N-DMT, psilocybin, and LSD trials based on compelling evidence that these compounds can not only abort attacks but extend remission periods indefinitely for many patients
  2. Establish 200 specialized treatment facilities across the nation within 6 months with mandatory oxygen therapy and other proven abortive treatments
  3. Fund 50 research laboratories dedicated to advancing our understanding of pain relief mechanisms and developing targeted interventions for these conditions based on patient-reported outcomes

Additionally, I am directing the Department of Health to create the Pharmaceutical Innovation Directive focusing on anti-tolerance compounds for chronic pain patients, next-generation flumazenil analogs to reverse benzodiazepine dependence, and targeted solutions for other iatrogenic conditions that have been unconscionably neglected. These extreme forms of suffering represent the deepest moral emergency in our society, and their elimination is our highest priority.

Mapping the Hedonic Landscape: Beyond QALY

For too long, our policies have been guided by economic indicators and inadequate health metrics like Quality-Adjusted Life Years (QALY). The QALY framework fundamentally fails us by treating all human experiences as linearly equivalent and by capping wellbeing at an arbitrary “perfect health” that ignores the vast territory of heightened human potential.

The empirical evidence is compelling: our current metrics systematically undervalue both the depths of intense human experiences and the heights of human flourishing. As a result, we’ve created policies that address widespread but moderate challenges while neglecting concentrated instances of profound human experiences – both positive and negative.

Today, I am commissioning the first comprehensive Hedonic Landscape Observatory—a scientific assessment of the full spectrum of human experience that will:

  1. Develop more sensitive and accurate measurements of diverse human experiences across the wellbeing spectrum
  2. Map the neurological correlates of resilience and positive states to complement our understanding of health
  3. Create economic feedback loops that systematically reward businesses and institutions that demonstrably enhance quality of life
  4. Develop a new economic indicator—the Consciousness-Weighted Prosperity Index—that will appear alongside GDP in all government reporting

This initiative will ensure that governance decisions are evaluated not just by economic impact, but by their effect on the actual lived quality of conscious experience of our citizens—taking into account the true depth and breadth of human flourishing available to us.

Game Theory and Consciousness: A New Political Framework

We stand at an evolutionary crossroads. The old politics operated on outdated models that failed to recognize the fundamental relationship between consciousness and our collective future. Today, we begin the transition to a political framework that explicitly acknowledges the quality of conscious experience—as central to governance.

By Executive Order 002, I am establishing the Consciousness-Economy Integration Commission tasked with creating explicit feedback loops between consciousness research and economic selection pressures. This commission will:

  1. Develop metrics that quantify the wellbeing-enhancing potential of technologies, enabling investors to select for innovations that genuinely improve quality of life
  2. Create tax incentives for businesses that demonstrably improve the lived experiences of their employees and customers
  3. Establish a public research platform exploring the positive potential of consciousness, ensuring that discoveries about phenomenological wellbeing directly influence market forces

This systematic exploration of consciousness is not merely academic—it will fundamentally reshape our economic landscape by ensuring that technologies and policies that enhance human flourishing systematically outcompete those that merely optimize for shallow metrics. The implications for environmental policy, social welfare, and international relations are profound and far-reaching.

Transcending Tribal Politics Through Psychological Understanding

From this day forward, international diplomacy will operate with a new level of psychological sophistication. Through the newly formed Department of Psychological Architecture Analysis, we will explicitly model the subagent structure of world leaders and political movements, identifying when narcissism, psychopathy, or tribal thinking is driving decision-making.

International coalitions will be formed not just around shared interests, but around shared psychological awareness. This administration will not hesitate to name pathological dynamics when they appear on the world stage, while offering a path forward through a consciousness-centric yet pragmatic approach to governance.

I am also directing our diplomatic corps to explore new modalities for high-stakes negotiations. We will establish a Diplomatic Innovation Laboratory to research the application of empathy-enhancing protocols in negotiation settings where entrenched psychological barriers prevent resolution. When trillions of dollars and millions of lives hang in the balance of international agreements, we cannot afford to have negotiations hijacked by psychological defense mechanisms and tribal identification.

Just as we now understand that the pain of cluster headaches is objectively more severe than a migraine, despite superficially similar descriptions, we must develop precise language and metrics for the psychological architectures that drive international conflict. They are real, distortionary, and far from game-theoretically optimal. Only by seeing these structures clearly—and developing reliable methods to transform them—can we hope to address existential challenges that require genuine cooperation.

Longevity: The Right of Every Citizen

While extreme suffering can be worse than death, unnecessary death itself remains a profound tragedy and represents an incalculable loss of human potential. Today, I announce the formation of the National Longevity Institute with initial funding of $10 billion, coordinating research across public and private sectors to dramatically extend healthy human lifespan.

This institute will prioritize three areas:

  1. Senolytics and cellular reprogramming technologies to reverse biological aging
  2. Neural preservation techniques to maintain cognitive function
  3. Prevention of age-related suffering states through targeted interventions

The benefits of this research will not be reserved for the privileged few, but made available to every citizen as a basic right. Age-related suffering is not inevitable, and this administration will not accept it as such.

The Science of Awakening: Soteriology as a Research Target

Even as we pursue longevity, we must confront a fundamental truth: all things remain impermanent. Today, I am establishing the Institute for Contemplative Sciences with a mission to develop a rigorous scientific understanding of what traditions across time and cultures have called “awakening,” “enlightenment,” or “liberation.”

This research program will:

  1. Systematically study how humans throughout history have made peace with impermanence and transcended existential suffering
  2. Investigate the neurobiological and phenomenological correlates of awakening experiences across contemplative traditions
  3. Develop scalable, secular methods to help citizens process mortality, grief, and existential concerns within our scientific worldview
  4. Create interdisciplinary teams combining neuroscientists, contemplatives, philosophers, and clinicians to bridge ancient wisdom with modern scientific rigor

The ultimate human challenge is not merely to extend life, but to discover how to be fundamentally okay with the impermanent nature of existence. While various religious and philosophical traditions have offered paths to this goal for millennia, we now have the scientific tools to explore these states with unprecedented precision.

By creating a dialogue between contemplative wisdom and scientific method, we can forge new pathways for humanity to face its deepest existential challenges. This is not merely a spiritual pursuit—it is a practical necessity for a civilization grappling with the fundamental questions of meaning and mortality in an age of unprecedented technological power.

Understanding Exceptional States of Consciousness

The most profound states of human consciousness remain largely unexplored territory in scientific research. Today, I am directing the National Institutes of Health to establish the Center for Exceptional States of Consciousness (aka. The Super-Shulgin Academy) with a $5 billion initial investment, tasked with making sense of profoundly positive experiences across the full spectrum of chemically-facilitated and meditation-induced states.

This Center will:

  1. Create standardized protocols for psychedelic research, including 5-MeO-DMT with essential safeguards and contraindication screening, recognizing that while beneficial for many, it can induce challenging experiences in others—understanding these variables is crucial for responsible application
  2. Fund 25 dedicated research facilities specializing in Jhana acceleration techniques and other contemplative practices that achieve similar states without pharmacological intervention
  3. Develop a comprehensive empirical framework mapping the neural correlates of these heightened states while investigating both beneficial outcomes and adverse reactions to create predictive models for personalized approaches
  4. Prioritize sustainable MDMA production and research as a north star intervention, focusing on its potential for treating PTSD and enhancing empathetic connection while minimizing cardiovascular impact and developing protocols to mitigate tolerance and neurotoxicity concerns
  5. Translate findings into scalable interventions for depression, anxiety, and existential distress, ensuring that safety, accessibility, and individual neuropsychological differences guide all protocols

These states represent extraordinary territories of human wellbeing—regions of experience that offer not only therapeutic potential but a scientific window into the furthest reaches of human potential that we have barely begun to understand. Our commitment is to explore these states with both scientific rigor and ethical care, recognizing both their profound potential and the need for responsible stewardship.

Expanding Our Moral Circle: Non-Human Animal Consciousness

Our commitment to understanding consciousness and reducing suffering must extend beyond our own species. Today, I am establishing the Interspecies Consciousness Research Initiative with a dual mandate: rigorous scientific exploration and practical harm reduction.

This Initiative will:

  1. Develop objective metrics to quantify suffering in non-human animals, with immediate focus on factory-farmed animals where the concentration of suffering is most acute
  2. Allocate $3 billion annually to research and implement improved welfare standards for farmed animals while simultaneously investing in cultured meat technologies and plant-based alternatives
  3. Create a roadmap for the gradual, culturally sensitive phasing out of the most harmful animal agriculture practices over the coming decades, aligning economic incentives with ethical progress
  4. Establish the Wild Animal Welfare Research Program to cautiously explore the complex ethical landscape of wild animal suffering, acknowledging the immense scientific and ecological challenges involved

The ethical imperative is clear, but so is the need for careful, evidence-based approaches. We will neither rush interventions that could have unintended consequences nor hide behind complexity as an excuse for inaction when suffering is demonstrable and solutions are feasible. This balanced approach recognizes our ethical responsibilities without compromising scientific rigor or cultural realities.

Transforming Education: Experience, Don’t Memorize

A key pillar of this administration will be fundamentally reimagining education. Today, I announce the Consciousness Education Initiative that will transform how we develop young minds. This initiative rejects both outdated rote learning and any form of ideological indoctrination. Instead, it embraces a “see for yourself” approach where students:

  1. Learn meditation techniques alongside mathematics, building empirical skills for exploring internal states
  2. Study their own consciousness with the same rigor they apply to studying literature, using first-person methods complemented by third-person science
  3. Develop critical thinking by becoming aware of their own cognitive biases and subagent structures
  4. Understand the psychological architectures that drive political beliefs through evidence-based empirical investigations

The goal is not to tell students what to think about consciousness, but to give them the tools to explore their own minds with scientific precision and philosophical depth. This approach builds intellectual independence—teaching students to verify claims through direct experience rather than accepting them on authority, whether in consciousness studies or any other domain.

A Call to Action

My fellow citizens, I do not promise that these ambitious goals will be easy to achieve. They will require not just government action, but a transformation in how we approach science, governance, and our very understanding of what it means to be human.

But the stakes could not be higher. We have the opportunity to eliminate forms of suffering that have plagued humanity throughout history, to extend healthy life, to create social systems that support human flourishing, and to understand the very foundations of consciousness itself.

This is not a partisan agenda, but a human one. In fact, of consciousness itself. It transcends traditional political divisions and speaks to our shared desire for a world with less suffering and more joy, less confusion and more clarity, less conflict and more cooperation.

Let us begin this journey together, guided by compassion, informed by science, and dedicated to the proposition that the quality of conscious experience matters fundamentally—and that we have both the capability and the responsibility to improve it, in ourselves, our loved ones, and in the field at large.

Thank you, and may we move forward with wisdom, courage, and clear-eyed determination.

Infinite bliss!

[The crowd erupts in thunderous applause]

And now, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the voted ‘most hedonic’ pop sensation of the year, performing their chart-topping anthem inspired by our vision for the future!

[Cue massive flashy fireworks as the stage transforms. Spotlights sweep across a diverse crowd of all ages beginning to dance as the music starts. Children, seniors, and everyone in between move to the rhythm. The singer emerges from beneath the stage on a rising platform surrounded by dancers in colorful neuron-patterned costumes, launching into their hit song about consciousness, wellbeing and the dawning of a new era of understanding…]

Conscious Dawn” – Presidential Lyrics

Ancient wisdom meets the future’s light
Through pain’s darkest valleys, we’ll find the heights
Mapping consciousness beyond what we’ve known
A nation where suffering won’t reign on the throne

Tribal boundaries dissolve in our sight
As senolytics set our cells aright
The hedonic landscape unfolds like a scroll
Where DMT whispers truths to the soul

From cluster headaches to enlightened minds
Transcending metrics that keep us blind
Our moral circle widens beyond human skin
Wild animal welfare, a new dawn begins

Science awakens what sages once taught
Not just to live long, but find what we’ve sought
A republic where bliss is more than a dream
Infinite consciousness—our birthright supreme

Social Anhedonia Considered Selfish

[Epistemic Status: Speculating on personality disorders from the point of view of their valence landscapes – it makes intuitive sense when you think about it, but the theory lacks empirical validation – take it with a grain of salt]

Overeating : Food Anhedonia :: Narcissism : Social Anhedonia

Unreflectively, we may assume that overeating is a result of liking food too much. This makes intuitive sense – people consume more of what they enjoy. But research in eating behavior reveals a counterintuitive pattern: often, overconsumption stems not from heightened pleasure but from its absence. Recent studies on anhedonia in binge eating (spectrum disorders) suggest that palatable foods may substitute for the pleasure typically obtained from day-to-day activities – pointing to a pleasure deficit rather than excess.

People eat, and overeat, for many reasons, each with distinct phenomenological signatures. The interiority of overeating induced by THC (aka. “munchies”) differs markedly from overeating driven by social contexts (imagine the colleague pressured into “just one more slice” at an office party despite feeling full). But particularly interesting is the connection between overeating and food anhedonia – consuming more precisely because one experiences less pleasure from normal eating. This drives individuals toward the most perceptible elements of food – the sugars, fats, and salt that can penetrate a dulled sensory system. Meanwhile, those with intact hedonic tone for food experience a richer valence landscape, allowing them to enjoy subtle flavor notes that others might find imperceptible.

I think one can think about narcissism in a similar light.

The Social Taste Blindness Hypothesis

Consider two people at a wine tasting. Person A experiences complex notes of cherry, tobacco, and oak, with subtle shifts as the wine breathes. Person B tastes… red. Just red. Not unpleasant, but phenomenologically sparse. Who’s more likely to grab the bottle with “WORLD’S STRONGEST FLAVOR!” on the label?

The narcissist isn’t rejecting the subtle beautify of reciprocal attention and vibe attunement in favor of the loud BANG of admiration. They’re living in a world where the BANG is the only sound they can hear. The rest is silence or background noise.

This isn’t a defense of narcissism… someone who can’t taste anything but salt still shouldn’t add a pound of it on your birthday cake (without your consent, that is). But it does suggest that what we’re seeing isn’t an overflow of self-love, but a desperate compensation for what might be called “social taste blindness” or perhaps a kind of “generalized social anhedonia”.

The Flattened Social Reward Landscape

The core hypothesis I want to propose is that narcissists aren’t choosing selfishness over compassion any more than a colorblind person is choosing to ignore the difference between red and green. Their valence landscape simply doesn’t trigger the normal reward response to reciprocal human connection. The opposite of narcissism might be the emotional equivalent of tetrachromacy – that extra dimensionality of experience that makes mutual presence inherently rewarding to the socially attuned – rather than, say, lack of self-esteem.

So they optimize for what they can feel: validation, status, control, dominance. These are the salt, sugar, grease, and even capsaicin of the social world – even very dulled taste buds can pick them up in high enough concentrations. And when you can’t taste vanilla, you reach for hot sauce not because it’s better, but because at least it’s something.

The Valence Mechanics of Narcissistic Subtypes

Three major forms of narcissism map neatly onto three forms of social anhedonia, with the fourth one needing a bit of wiggle room (but bear with me):

  1. Grandiose narcissists, in this framework, might have the equivalent of prosopagnosia (aka. face blindness) for emotional states that don’t relate to them. They need to be the center of attention because they can’t feel the streams of attention going between others. The hedonic tone of mere social presence (“we’re just two consciousnesses existing together”) doesn’t register, so they create a stage where they’re in the spotlight. I.e. the only kind of social interaction that feels real to them.
  2. Vulnerable/covert narcissists have their gain turned up for threats but down for comfort. Like those people who can only hear high-pitched sounds, their affective range picks up potential rejections with clarity but the baseline feeling of secure attachment sounds like quiet static. They oscillate between idealization and devaluation because those extremes are the only stations their emotional radio can tune into.
  3. Communal narcissists experience what researchers call “intrinsic moral motivation” as a phenomenological dead zone. While instruments like the Communal Narcissism Inventory (developed by Gebauer et al.) can identify these individuals, the deeper issue lies in their experiential gaps. The phenomenology of doing good anonymously (that distinctive feeling that makes private virtue self-reinforcing for others) simply doesn’t register in their experience. The internal satisfaction that normally accompanies alignment between values and actions is absent, creating a valence vacuum that can only be filled by external recognition. They’re not performing goodness because they prefer the validation (though they do); they’re performing it because, without the observer, the action lacks any significant hedonic tone. Their sense of virtuous action exists only in the reflecting mirrors of social reality.
  4. Malignant narcissists present the most paradoxical case, and may at first look like a counter-example to our hypothesis. Their apparent pleasure in domination and others’ suffering seems to contradict the anhedonia model entirely. Yet what if this represents not normal social enjoyment but an inversion of the reward system? Think: a sensory system so deprived of normal stimulation that it begins to cross-wire, like taste buds registering bitter as sweet after prolonged deprivation, or the phenomenon of phantom limb pain/sensation triggered by touching parts of the body nearby in homunculi-space (“in some of these patients, a vibrator placed on the jaw or cheek was felt as vibration of the phantom hand” – Ramachandran). The malignant narcissist may experience such profound anhedonia to ordinary social pleasure that their valence architecture has essentially flipped, thus finding stimulation only in the high-amplitude signals of others’ distress. (Note: sometimes energy is better than nothing, even if negative in valence at first, as it can still drive an annealing process). Their social reward system, unable to detect the subtle “notes” of mutuality, recalibrates to extract meaning from the only signals strong enough to make a reading: power differentials and the negative emotional states they can induce in others. We are not talking about sadism tout court; rather, it’s a desperate compensation mechanism within an otherwise dim landscape of interpersonal emotions.

In each case, what looks like “too much self” is actually “not enough experiential world” – a dimensionality collapse in their capacity to experience certain valence gradients involving others.

Items of the Communal Narcissism Inventory (Gebauer et al., 2012)

Dimensionality Collapse: Reduced Social Phase Spaces

Normal social rewards operate in a high-dimensional space with multiple independent variables. We track and respond to dozens of social signals simultaneously: facial expressions, voice tonality, conversational give-and-take, empathic resonance, mutual recognition, and contextual appropriateness. The phase space of healthy social interaction contains many degrees of freedom, allowing for a flush landscape of possible states and trajectories.

The narcissistic reward architecture, by contrast, exhibits a form of dimensional collapse. Rather than tracking the full spectrum of interpersonal variables, their attentional system focuses on a dramatically reduced subset, mainly those that directly import self-evaluation and status. For the narcissist, this is a constraint in what registers as phenomenologically salient and thus what they can *couple with*.

When dimensionality collapses in a dynamic system, the available trajectories through phase space become severely constrained. Even if the underlying system is complex, when you’re only tracking a few variables, the overall dynamics simplify into basic patterns. This explains why narcissists experience social interactions in such a binary, flat way: the attentional system isn’t capturing enough dimensions to represent the full complexity of interpersonal exchange. So the dimensionality of the dynamic interaction collapses: you’re pulled into the only mode of interaction they know how to navigate, i.e. the narcissistic manifold.

Importantly, narcissists aren’t simply choosing to ignore certain aspects of social interaction. Their experiential phase space lacks the dimensionality needed to represent the delicate harmonics that make mutual attunement intrinsically rewarding for others. They’re operating with a reduced-dimensionality model of social reality where most of the valence gradients others navigate simply don’t exist.

The Paradox of Intensity Without Resolution

A seeming contradiction: narcissists often experience powerful emotions. Rage, shame, triumph, exhilaration. How does this square with the social anhedonia hypothesis?

The answer is in distinguishing between emotional amplitude and emotional resolution. Think of an old television with the contrast turned up to maximum but the reception fuzzy. You see the bright parts and the dark parts with blinding clarity, but all the middle grays blur together.

This explains the curious way narcissists can be simultaneously overwhelmed by their own feelings yet oblivious to yours. Their emotional system isn’t registering less – it’s registering differently, with a dynamic range compressed around ego-relevant signals and a blind spot for the subtle melodies of mutual presence and the subtle dynamic control mechanisms they entail.

The Self-Model Resolution Problem

The narcissist’s predicament tells us something deep about the nature of self-knowledge. We gain access to ourselves through a recursive process of modeling others who are modeling us. The resolution of one’s self-model is fundamentally constrained by the resolution of one’s models of others.

If your internal representation of other minds lacks dimensionality, meaning, if it captures only the crude peaks and valleys of social evaluation while missing the subtle dynamics of mutual presence, then the self you construct through these reflections will inherit this dynamic poverty. Your own experiential landscape becomes accessible to you only through the same low-resolution filters you apply to others.

The narcissist isn’t choosing a simplified self-understanding over a more complex one. Rather, they’re operating with the only self-model their attentional architecture can generate given its constrained inputs. They’ve optimized for detecting a narrow band of social signals, and this same narrowness characterizes their self-perception.

This explains why narcissistic self-enhancement isn’t actually self-knowledge at all. The scaffolding required to build a high-resolution self-concept simply isn’t there. What from afar looks as excessive self-focus is actually an unpleasant attempt to compensate for a poorly rendered self-image by amplifying its most detectable features.

Therapeutic Implications: Re-enchanting the Social World

If narcissism results as an adaptation to social anhedonia rather than excessive self-regard, our therapeutic approaches require radical revision. The standard protocols presuppose a motivational defect rather than a perceptual one – like telling an anosmic person to try harder to enjoy Channel No. 5 (EDP).

More promising approaches might look like:

  1. Sustainable empathogens – MDMA temporarily expands social reward perception but isn’t sustainable long-term. Hypothetically, we might develop non-neurotoxic analogues that selectively enhance social valence sensitivity without serotonergic depletion. Such compounds would serve not as treatments themselves, but as phenomenological reference points showing the narcissist an opportunity to tune into the social reward landscapes that exist but they’re blind to.
  2. Biofeedback synchrony training – Systems that visualize interpersonal physiological coherence (heart rate variability, skin conductance) could make non-verbal attunement tangible. By rendering visible what was imperceptible, narcissists might gradually develop direct perception of these signals.
  3. Phase-locked interpersonal dynamics – Structured interactions involving synchronized movement, breathing, and speech provide moments where narcissists might experience multi-level attunement. These experiences, once registered, might create templates for recognizing similar but subtler states in everyday interactions.
  4. Valence-neutral reflective environments – Settings offering neither praise nor criticism but high-fidelity reflection of internal states circumvent both narcissistic supply and defensive contraction. This uncouples self-perception from evaluation while increasing perceptual resolution.

The common thread is treating narcissism as information access impairment rather than moral failing. The goal isn’t condemnation but expanding dimensions of experience – to help them taste vanilla by first establishing that it exists, then building perceptual pathways to it from detectable flavors.

A word of caution: This work would need to be approached with extraordinary care. Particularly with phase-locked dynamics and reflective environments, there’s a bidirectional risk: resonance typically flows both ways. The therapist must avoid phase-locking to the narcissistic manifold while helping the narcissist access the interpersonal valence landscape that most people inhabit. This asymmetric entrainment requires sophisticated safeguards and training, as the narcissistic attractor basin can be surprisingly powerful, especially when amplified through synchronized states.

Beyond a Moral Framing

This model invites us to think beyond simplistic moral framings without also inadvertently excusing harmful behavior. The narcissist isn’t choosing self over other in a world where both options feel equally real. They’re navigating a landscape where certain fundamental human experiences – the quiet joy of mutual recognition, the inherent reward of witnessing another mind – are blunted or dulled.

This doesn’t mean narcissists bear no responsibility for their actions. But understanding the valence landscape underlying their behavior creates space for more effective intervention. You can’t argue someone into tasting a flavor their receptors don’t register. But you might, with patience and precision, help their system remember or discover it.

Conclusion: The Tragedy of Phenomenological Poverty

There’s something deeply sad about this reframing. Rather than creatures of excess, narcissists emerge as beings of deprivation – not deprived of attention, but of the capacity to fully experience the rich valence landscape of human connection.

Rather than delighting in glorious self-love, they might desperately be trying to feel something in a social world that registers as mostly dull.

I hope that this perspective invites compassion without compromising clarity. The narcissist’s social world isn’t too full; it’s too empty. And in that emptiness lies both explanation and, perhaps, a path toward healing.

Cel Animation as a Key Metaphor to Model DMT Hallucinations

Pieces of Khet, a popular laser chess-like game.

[Epistemic Status: Taking Phenomenology Seriously – Allowing Myself to Speculate Profusely]

Introduction: Laser Chess as a Metaphor for the Brain as a Non-Linear Optical Computer

In Laser Chess (a synecdoche for games of this sort), players arrange various kinds of pieces that interact with lasers on a board. Pieces have “optical features” such as mirrors and beam splitters. Some pieces are vulnerable to being hit from some sides, which takes them off the board, and some have sides which don’t interact with light but merely absorb it harmlessly (i.e. shields). You usually have a special piece which must not be hit, aka. the King/Pharaoh/etc. (or your side loses). And at the end of your turn (once you’ve moved one of your pieces) the laser of your color is turned on, and its light comes out of one of your pieces in a certain direction and then travels to wherever it must (according to its own laws of behavior). Usually when your laser hits an unprotected side of a piece (including one of your own pieces), the targeted piece is removed from the board. Your aim is to hit and remove the special piece of your opponent.

Example of a beam splitter optical element (source)

What makes this game conceptually more interesting than Chess isn’t just that its openings haven’t been thoroughly studied (something Bobby Fischer complained about with Chess), but rather that the light’s path depends on all pieces functioning together as a whole, adding a layer of physical embodiment to the game. In other words, Laser Chess is not akin to Chess 960, where the main feature is that there are so many openings that the player needs to rely less on theory and more on fluid visual reasoning. It’s more, at least at the limit, like the difference between a classical and a quantum computer. It has a “holistic layer” that is qualitatively different than the substrate upon which the game normally operates.

In Laser Chess, the “piece layer” is entirely local, in that pieces can only move around in hops that follow local contextual rules. Whereas the “laser layer” is a function of the state of the entire board. The laser layer is holistic in nature because it is a function of the entire board at once. It’s the result of, at the limit, letting the light go back and forth an infinite number of times and let it resolve whatever loop or winding path it may need to go through. You’re looking for the standing wave pattern the light wants to resolve on its own.

Online Laser Chess (source) – the self-own of the blue player is understandable given the counter-intuitive (at first) way the light ends up traveling.

In Laser Chess you move your piece to a position you thought was safe just to be hit by the laser because the piece itself was what was making that position safe! The beginner player is often startled by the way the game develops, which makes it fun to play for a while. The mechanic is clever and to play you need to think in ways perhaps a bit alien to a strict Chess player. But at the end of the day it’s not that different of a game. You do end up using a lot of calculations (in the traditional Chess sense of “mental motions” you keep track of to study possible game trees), and the laser layer only changes this slightly.

When the laser beam hits one of the mirrors, it will always turn 90 degrees, as shown in the diagrams. The beam always travels along the rows and columns; as long as the pieces are properly positioned in their squares, it will never go off at weird angles.
Khet: The Laser Game Game Rules

In Laser Chess, the behavior of light is not particularly impressive. After all, thinking about the laser layer in terms of simple local rules is usually enough (“advance forward until you hit a surface”, “determine the next move as a function of the type of surface you hit”, etc.). The game is quite “discretized” by design. Tracing a single laser path is indeed easy when the range of motion and possible modes of interaction are precisely constructed to make it easy to play. It’s uncomplicated by design. The calculations needed to predict the path of the light never becomes intractable: the angles are 45°/90° degrees, the surfaces cleanly double, reflect, absorb the light, etc.

Laser Chess, now with weird polygonal pieces and diffraction effects!

But in a more general possible version of Laser Chess the calculations can become easily intractable and far more interesting. If we increase the range of angles the pieces can be at relative to each other (or make them polygons) we suddenly enter states that require very long calculations to estimate within a certain margin of error. And if we bring continuous surfaces or are allowed to diffract or refract the light we will start to require using the mathematics that have been developed for optics.

Edge diffraction (source)

In a generalized Laser Chess, principles for the design of certain pieces could use specific optical properties, like edge diffraction:

If light passes near the edge of a piece (rather than hitting it directly), it could partially bend around the object instead of just stopping. Obstacles wouldn’t provide perfect shadows, allowing some light to “leak” around corners in a predictable but complex way. Example: A knight-like piece could have an “aura of vulnerability” where light grazing its edge still affects pieces behind it.

Instead of treating lasers as infinitely thin lines, beams could diffract when passing through narrow gaps or slits. This would allow for beam broadening, making it possible to hit multiple pieces even if they aren’t in a direct line. Example: If a piece has a slit or small hole, it could scatter the laser into a cone, potentially hitting multiple targets.

And so on. And there is a staggering number of optical properties to select from. From refraction, iridescence, polarization, birefringence, and total internal reflection, each offering unique strategic possibilities. And then there we also have their mutual interactions to consider. Taking all of this into account, a kind of generalized Laser Chess complexity hierarchy arises:

  • The simplest Laser Chess variants are mostly geometric, with straightforward ray tracing. They benefit from a physical laser or a computer, but don’t require it.
  • Intermediate complexity comes after adding diffraction, refraction, and wave optics, requiring Fourier transforms and wave equations to analyze the beam behavior. It requires a physical laser or a computer to be played, because mental calculation won’t do.
  • And high complexity variants come about when you take into account quantum-inspired effects like interference and path integrals, leading to both deterministic and probabilistic gameplay mechanics where players need to take into account complex superpositions and calculate probabilities. It requires either carefully designed cases for computers to be sufficient; physical embodiment might become necessary above a certain complexity.

The Self as King

Let’s start to draw the analogy. Imagine the special piece as your sense of self, the piece that must be protected, while the other pieces represent state variables tuning your world-model. In some configurations, they work together to insulate the King, diffusing energy smoothly across the board. In others, a stray beam sneaks through—an unexpected reflection, a diffraction at just the wrong angle—and suddenly, the self is pierced, destabilized, and reconfigured. The mind plays this game with itself, setting up stable patterns, only to knock them down with a well-placed shot.

The field of consciousness, poetically speaking, is a lattice of light shifting under the pressure of attention, expectation, and the occasional physiological shear. But whether or not the awareness that corresponds to the light is self-aware depends on the precise configuration of this internal light path: some ways of arranging the board allow for a story to be rendered, where a sense of self, alive and at the center of the universe, is interpreted as the experiencer of the scene. Yet the scene is always being experienced holistically even if without a privileged center of aggregation of the light paths. The sense of a separate, divided witness might be a peculiar sleight of hand of this optical system, a kind of enduring optical illusion generated by what is actually real: the optical display.

BaaNLOC

The Brain as a Non-Linear Optical Computer (BaaNLOC) proposes that something like this happens in the brain. The brain’s physical structure – its neural wiring, synaptic connections, and the molecular machinery of neurons – maps onto a set of “optical” properties. These properties shape how electromagnetic waves flow and interact in neural tissue.

Think of a sensory stimulus, within the Laser Chess analogy of the brain’s computational substrate, as akin to a brief blip from a laser. As the stimulus-triggered electrochemical signal propagates through neural circuits, its path is shaped by the brain’s “optical” configuration. Excitatory and inhibitory neurons, tuned to different features, selectively reflect and refract the signal. The liquid crystal matrix encoded in the molecular structure of intracellular proteins might also play a role, perhaps modulating the electromagnetic medium through which the signal must travel.

Where these signals meet, they interfere, their wave properties combining to amplify or cancel each other out. BaaNLOC posits that the large-scale interference pattern and the non-linear emergent topological structure of these interacting waves constitutes the contents of subjective experience.

Attention and expectation act as a steady pressure on this system, stabilizing certain wave patterns over others, like a piece the board influencing the path of the laser. What we perceive and feel emerges from the EM standing waves shaped by this top-down influence.

Psychedelics and BaaNLOC

Psychedelics, in this framework, temporarily alter the optical properties of the brain. Abnormal patterns of signaling elicited by drugs like DMT change how neural waves propagate and interact. The result is a radical reconfiguration of the interference patterns corresponding to conscious experience.

The BaaNLOC paradigm seeks to bridge the brain’s electrodynamics with the phenomenology of subjective experience by framing neural processes in terms of EM wave dynamics and electrostatic field interactions. While the precise mapping between neural activity and optical properties remains an open question (we have some ideas), the process of searching for this correspondence is already generative. The brain’s electrostatic landscape is not uniform; instead, it consists of regions with varying permittivity and permeability, which affect the way EM waves propagate, reflect, and interfere. Axonal myelination influences conduction velocity by altering the dielectric properties of neural pathways, shaping the timing and coherence of signals across brain regions. Dendritic arbor geometry sculpts synaptic summation, forming local electrostatic gradients that influence how waves superpose and propagate. Cortical folding affects field interactions by modulating the spatial configuration of charge distributions, altering the effective permittivity of different regions and creating potential boundaries for wave interference. These parameters suggest that experience may be structured not only by firing patterns but also by the electrostatic properties of the substrate itself. If perception is mediated by standing waves in an EM field shaped by the brain’s own internal dielectric properties, then the phenomenology of experience may correspond to structured resonances within this medium, much like how lenses manipulate light by controlling permittivity gradients. Investigating these interactions could illuminate the connection between the brain’s physical substrate and the emergent contours of conscious experience.

You can even do spectral filtering of images with analogue Fourier transforms using optical elements alone. Think about how this optical element could be used right now in your brain to render and manufacture your current reality:

Analogue Fourier transform and filtering of optical signals. (Gif by Hans Chiu – source).

Real-time analog Fourier decomposition of sensory information would be a powerful computational tool, and we propose that the brain’s optical systems leverage this to structure our world-simulation.

In this framework, certain gestalt patterns act as energy sinks, analogous to standing waves at resonant frequencies. These patterns serve as semantic attractors in the brain’s harmonic energy landscape, forming local minima where perceptual content naturally stabilizes. These attractor surfaces are often semi-transparent, refractive, diffractive, or polarizing, vibrating in geometry-dependent ways. “Sacred geometry” corresponds to vibratory patterns that are maximally coherent across multiple layers at once, representing low-energy states in the system’s configuration space. When the world-sheet begins to resemble these structures, it “snaps” into symmetry, as this represents an energy minimum. This aligns with Lehar’s field-theoretic model of perception, where visual processing emerges from extended spatial fields of energy interacting according to lawful dynamics. Given that such self-organizing optical behavior is characteristic of liquid crystals, it is worth considering whether the brain’s substrate exploits liquid-crystalline properties to facilitate these energy-minimizing transformations.

It is within this paradigm that the following idea is situated.

DMT Visuals as Holographic Cel Animation in a Nonlinear Optical Medium

DMT visuals (and to a lesser extent those induced by classic psychedelics in general) might be understood as semi-transparent flat surfaces in a non-linear optical medium, akin to the principles behind cel animation. Source: How It’s Made | Traditional Cel Animation*

Cel animation uses partially transparent layers to render objects in a way that allows them to move independent of each other. In cel animation the features of your world are parsed in a suspiciously anthropomorphic way. If you change a single element in an unnatural way, you find it rather odd. Like it breaks the 4th wall in a way. You can get someone to blink an eye or move their mouth in the absence of any other movement. What kind of physical system would do that? One that was specifically constructed for you as an interface.

Imagine a child flipping through a book of transparent pages, each containing a fragment of a jaguar, a palm, a tribal mask. As the pages overlay, the scene assembles itself — not as a static image, but as a living tableau (somebody please fire the Salesforce marketing department for appropriating such a cool word). Now imagine those transparencies aren’t merely stacked; they are allowed to be at odd angles relative to each other and to the camera:

This is the basic setup. The idea is that on DMT, especially during the come-up at moderate doses (e.g. reaching Magic Eye-level), the sudden appearance of 2D gestalts in 3D (which are then “projected” to a 2.5D visual field) is a key phenomenological feature. The rate of appearance and disappearance of these gestalts is dose-dependent, same as the kind of interactions they come enabled with. From here, we can start to generalize this kind of system to better capture visual (and somatic, as we will see) features of a DMT experience in its full richness and complexity. Just as in the case of Laser Chess, where we began with a basic setup and then explored how non-linear optics would massively complicate the system as we introduce interesting twists, here as well we begin with cel animation planes in a 3D space and add new features until they get us somewhere really interesting.

An important point is that DMT cel-animation-like phenomenology seems to have some hidden rules that are difficult to articulate, let alone characterize in full because it interacts with the structure of our attention and awareness. Unlike actual cel animation, the flat DMT gestalts don’t require a full semi-transparent plane to come along with them – they are “cut” already, and yet somehow can “float” just fine. Importantly, even when you have extended planes and they are, say, rotating, they can often intersect. Or rather, the fact that they overlap in their position in the visual field does not mean that they will interact as if they were occupying the same space. Whether two of these gestalts interact with each other or not depends on how you pay attention to them. There is a certain kind of loose and relaxed approach to attention where they all go through each other, as if entirely insubstantial. There is another kind of way of attending where you force their interaction. If you have seven 2D gestalts floating in your visual field, by virtue of the fact that you only have so many working memory slots / attention streams, it is very difficult to keep them all separate. At the same time, it is also very difficult to bring them all together. More typically, there is a constantly shifting interaction graph between these gestalts, where depending on how emergent attention dynamics of the mind go, clusters of these gestalts end up being simultaneously being payed attention to, and thus blend/unify/compete and constructively/destructively interfere with one another.

One remarkable property of these effects is that 2D gestalts can experience transformations of numerous kinds: shrinking, expanding, shearing, rotating, etc. Each of these planes implicitly drags along a “point of view”. And one of the ways in which they can interact is by “sharing the same point of view”.

Cels as Planes of Focus

One key insight is that the 2D surfaces that make up these cels in the visual field on a moderate dose of DMT seem to be regions where one can “focus all at once”. If you think of your entire visual field as an optical display that can “focus” on different elements on a scene, during normal circumstances it seems that we are constrained to focusing on scenes one plane at a time. Perhaps we have evolved to match as faithfully as possible the optical characteristics of a camera-like system with only one plane of focus, and thus we “swallow in” the optical characteristics of our eyes and tend to treat them as fundamental constraints of our perception. However, on DMT (and to a lesser extent other psychedelics) one can see multiple planes “in focus” at the same time. Each of these gestalts is typically perfectly “in focus” and yet with incompatible “camera parameters” to the other planes. This is what makes, in part, the state feel so unusual: there is a sense in which it feels as if one had multiple additional pairs of eyes with which to observe a scene.

A simple conceptual framework to explain this comes from our work on psychedelic tracers. DMT, in a way, lets sensations build up in one’s visual and somatic field: one can interpret the multiple planes of focus as lingering “focusing events” that stay in the visual field for much longer, accumulating sharply focused points of view in a shared workspace of visual perspectives.

Another overall insight here is that each 2D gestalt in 3D space that works as an animation cel is a kind of handshake between the feed from each of our eyes. Conceptually, our visual cortex is organized into two hierarchical streams with lateral connections. Levels of the hierarchy model different spatial scales, whereas left-vs-right model the eye from which the input is coming from. At a high-level, we could think of each 2D cel animation element as a possible “solution” for stable attractors in this kind of system: a plane through which waves can travel cuts across spatial scales and relative displacements between the image coming from each eye. In other words, the DMT world begins to be populated by possible discrete resonant mode attractors of a network like this:

The Physics of Gestalt Interactions

As the 2D cels accumulate, they interact with one another. As we’ve discussed before, our mind seems to have an energy function where both symmetrical arrangements and semantically recognizable patterns work as energy sinks. The cel animation elements drift around in a way that tries to minimize their energy. How energized a gestalt is manifests in various ways: brightness of the colors, speed of moment, number of geometric transformations applied to it per second, and so on. When “gestalt collectives” get close to each other, they often instantiate novel coupling dynamics and intermingle in energy-minimizing ways.

Holographic Cel Animation

Since each of the cels in a certain sense corresponds to a “plane of focus” for the two eyes, they come with an implicit sense of depth. As strange as it may sound, I think it is both accurate and generative (or at the very least generative!) to think of each cel animation element as a holographic display.

(source)

I think this kind of artifact of our minds (i.e. that we get 2D hologram-like interacting hallucinations on DMT) ultimately sheds light on the medium of computation our brain is exploiting for information processing more generally. Our mind computes with entire “pictures” rather than with ones and zeros. And the pictures it computes with are optical/holographic in nature in that they integrate multiple perspectives at once and compress entire complex scenes into manageable lower dimensional projections of them.

Each cel animation unit can be conceptualized as a holographic window into a specific 3D scene. This connects to one of the striking characteristics of these experiences. In the DMT state, this quality manifests as a sense that the visualized content is “not only in your mind” but represents access to information that exists beyond the confines of personal consciousness. The different animated elements appear to be in non-local communication with one another, as if they can “radio each other” across distances. At the very least their update function seems to rely both on local rules and global “all-at-once” holistic updates (much akin to the way the laser path changes holistically after local changes in the location of individual pieces).

This creates the impression that multiple simultaneous narratives or “plots” can unfold at “maximum speed” concurrently. Each element seems capable of filtering out specific signals from a broader field of information, tuning into particular frequencies while ignoring others. The resulting 2.5D/3D interface serves as a shared context where gestalts that communicate through different “radio channels” can nonetheless interact coherently with each other in a shared geometric space.

Credit: @smallfly (read more)

The above VR application being developed by Hugues Bruyere at DPT (interesting name!) reminded me of some of the characteristic visual computation that can take place on DMT with long-lasting holographic-like scenes lingering in the visual field. By paying attention to a group of these gestalts all at once, you can sort of “freeze” them in space and then look at them from another angle as a group. You can imagine how doing this recursively could unlock all kinds of novel information processing applications for the visual field.

Visual Recursion

Each cel animation element can have a copy of other cel animation elements seen from a certain perspective within it.

Because each animation cel can display an entire scene in a hologram-like fashion, it often happens that the scenes may reference each other. This is in a way much more general than typical video feedback. It’s video feedback but with arbitrary geometric transformations, holographic displays, and programmable recursive references from one feed to another.

The Somatic Connection

(Source)

One overarching conceptual framework we think can help explain a lot of the characteristics of conscious computation is the way in which fields with different dimensionalities interact with one another. In particular, we’ve recently explored how depth in the visual field seems to be intimately coupled with somatic sensations (see: What is a bodymind knot? by Cube Flipper, and On Pure Perception by Roger Thisdell). This has led to a broad paradigm of neurocomputation we call “Projective Intelligence“:

The projective intelligence framework offers a conceptual foundation for how to make sense of the holographic cels. Our brains constantly map between visual (2.5D) and tactile (3D) fields through projective transformations, with visual perceptions encoding predictions of tactile sensations. This computational relationship enables the compression of complex 3D information into lower dimensions while highlighting patterns and symmetries (think about how you rotate a cube in space in order to align it with the symmetries of our visual field: a cube contains perfect squares, which becomes apparent when you project it onto 2D in the right way).

In altered states like DMT experiences, these projections multiply and distort, creating the characteristic holographic windows we’re discussing: multiple mappings occur between the same tactile regions and different visual areas. This explains the non-local communication between visual elements, as the visual field creates geometric shortcuts between tactile representations using the visual field. It’s why separated visual elements appear to “radio each other” across distances: they can be referencing the same region of the body!

The recursive qualities of these holographic cels emerge when the “branching factor” of projections increases, creating Indra’s Net-like effects where everything reflects everything else. The binding relationships that arise in those experiences can generate exotic topological spaces: you can wire your visual and somatic field together in such a way that the geodesics of attention find really long loops involving multiple hops between different sensory fields.

In brief, consciousness computes with “entire pictures” which can interact with each other even if they have different dimensionalities – this alone is one of the key reasons I’m bullish on the idea that carefully depicting psychedelic phenomenology will open up new paradigms of computation.

Collective Intelligence Through Transformer-like Semantics

In addition to the geometric holographic properties of these hallucinations, the semantic energy sink also operate in remarkably non-trivial ways. When two DMT patterns interact, they don’t just overlap or blend like watercolors. They transform each other in ways that look suspiciously like large language models updating their attention vectors. A spiral might encounter a lattice, and suddenly both become a spiral-lattice hybrid that preserves certain features while generating entirely new ones. If you’ve played with AI image generators, you’ve seen how combining prompt elements creates unexpected emergent results. DMT visuals work similarly, except they’re computing with synesthetic experiential tokens instead of text prompts. A hyperbolic jewel structure might “attend to” a self-dribbling basketball, extracting specific patterns that transform both objects into something neither could become alone.

Some reports suggest that internalizing modern AI techniques before a DMT trip (e.g. spending a week studying and thinking about the transformer architecture) can power-up the intellectual capacities of “DMT hive-minds”. If your conceptual scheme can only make sense of the complex hallucinations you’re witnessing on ayahuasca through the lens of divine intervention or alien abductions, the scenes that you’re likely to render will be restricted to genre-conforming semantic transformations that minimize narrative free energy. But if you come in prepared to identify what is happening through the lens of non-linear optics and let the emergent subagents (clusters of gestalts that work together as agentive forces) self-organize as an optical machine learning system, you may end up summoning novel (if still very raw and elemental) kinds of conscious superintelligences.

Conclusion: The Gestalt Amphitheater

In ordinary consciousness, we meticulously arrange our perceptual pieces to protect the King (our sense of self) ensuring that the laser of awareness follows predictable, habitual paths. The optical elements of our world-simulation are carefully positioned to maintain the stable fiction that we are unified subjects navigating an objective world.

DMT radically rearranges these pieces, creating optical configurations where “the light of consciousness” reflects, refracts, and diffracts in unexpected ways. The laser no longer follows familiar paths but moves along a superposition of paths through the system in patterns that reveal the constructed nature of the central self and of the simulation as a whole. The King (that precious sense of being a singular perceiver) stands exposed as what it always was: not an ontological primitive but an emergent property of a particular configuration where “attention field lines converge.”

The projective intelligence framework helps us understand this phenomenology. Our brains constantly map between visual (2.5D) and tactile (3D) fields through transformations that encode predictions and compress complex information. In DMT states, these projections multiply and distort, creating “holographic windows” where multiple mappings occur simultaneously. This explains the non-local communication between visual elements: separated gestalts appear to “radio each other” across distances because multiple tactile sensations can use the visual field as a shortcut to resonate with each other and vice versa.

The emergent resonant attractors of the whole system involve many such shortcuts. When the recursive projections find an energy minima they lock in place, at least temporarily: the complex multi-sensory gestalts one can experience in these states capture layers of recursive symmetry as information in sensory fields is reprojected back and forth, each time adapting to the intrinsic dimensionality of the field onto which it is projected. “Sacred geometry” objects on DMT are high-valence high-symmetry attractors of this recursive process.

The DMT state doesn’t “scramble consciousness” (well, not exactly); rather, it reconfigures its optical properties, allowing us to witness the internal machinery that normally remains hidden in our corner of parameter space. These visuals aren’t “hallucinations” in any conventional sense. That would imply they’re distortions of some more fundamental reality. Instead, I think they’re expressions of our brain’s underlying optical architecture when highly energized and fragmented, temporarily freed from the sensory constraints that normally restrict our perceptual algorithms.

By understanding the brain as a kind of non-linear optical computer, and consciousness as a topologically closed standing wave pattern emergent out of this optical system, we may develop more sophisticated models of how the brain generates world simulations. And perhaps one day (soon!) even discover new computational paradigms inspired by the way our minds naturally process information through multiple holographic dimensional interfaces at once. Stay tuned!


*animations made with the help of Claude 3.7, when otherwise not specified.